Solosopher & Solosophy

(The Philosophical/Spiritual Anti-Rainbow)

Summum Malum

A Literary Anti-Rainbow of the Human Condition, exploring those Shadows in our Reflection.

 By Solomon Li

Featuring:

The Summum Malum: A collection of musing/poems

‘Ode to Mediocrity: The Master and Disciple Dialogues’

‘Son of Heaven and Earth’

‘The Gospel of Joshua’

‘The Tirades’

‘The Villain Manifesto’

Author’s Note: Summum Malum was an Umbrella Project that were centred on Negative Emotions, and originally meant to be published as a compendium. On this site, I find that it’s easier to break up the segments into Chapter Subsections subsections, so feel free to locate whichever ones interest you- they do not need to be read in any particular order.

The Summum Malum: A collection of musing/poems

Summum Malum: The Greatest Evil

There is no objectively good or evil person- due to our capacity for change, and the inherent light/shadow in each of this, all that we choose to manifest is our real self.

That power defines us: this is the only objective truth.

“Hollow Regrets”

“In frugality and folly, ’til death do us part”

They say Icarus flew too close to the Sun,
A foolish boy is perhaps not to blame,
For that radiant orb beaming radiant flames,

Itself held such contempt for young mortal’s fun.

They say Icarus flew too close to the Sun, 
Yet what else begets those who dare to dream,
And realises what Fate awaits when Dreamer awakes to the World envisioned anew.

They say Icarus flew too close to the Sun, 
When heaven beckoned by way of golden arches, 
To grant sensations, elation renewed,
Yet what else is promised by empty light?
I’ll have it, with a side of vows untrue.

They say Icarus flew too close to the Sun, 
Yet I would beg to differ in my views,
As one who sought naught all but pleasure,
Now is served with all my regrets too.

I am Icarus, who flew too close to the Sun,
And I realise that such error is only by hindsight view,
For when I soared amongst the nimbus and birds alike,
There was no regret for tomorrow, yesterday, or even today,
For I flew in the moment, the Here and Now

“Cognitive Maelstrom”

How my Fair-Weather friends fret,
I fear they’d never understand,
‘Tis not in pleasant weather where we truly master self command.

A ship is safest in the harbour, 
Yet has no purpose if it never leaves.
How then could it be sought after?
Should it never strive forth farther?
Risky voyages never balanced by the occasional bliss reprieve.

So it be, unto each of us, to ask ourselves,
What farce is this to lie in lull of comfort and security?
Steadfast in refusal to acknowledge Chaos,
That one’s purpose is to stay on the beaten path, rather than take a chance to be lost,
That fabrication may suffice for you, but not for me.

All I want is to feel alive again!
Experience jaded-faded existence anew!
So as the Arcane Joker laughs in self mockery,
I choose my distance from all of you.
The Fool who understands their part will never be just another’s tool, to be discarded once the work is done,
Instead takes pleasure indulging in existential fun.

A pantomime of Life is to play that game without stakes,
No purpose in winning what can’t be lost.
You may argue we thrive best in sunny days!
How can you know warmth without the frost?

So while many seek their refuge inside, 
From bewildering winds and soul reaping rains,
Grey sheep of the skies form their flocks,
Trees, delirious, begins their dance to this Elemental tune,
I relish the gusts that cut, then numb, my face, while drenched by waters heaven sent!

It is not madness to gaze upon a rainbow, marvel at a marvel of prismatic light,
Yet no doubt I seem uncanny to those seeing naught but black and white.
A lone figure in the open, 
Arms wide open, proclaiming open scorn,
I do not fear nor shirk this weather,

Because,
I AM THE STORM!”

~Winter’s Work~

“I am a child of Summer, 
Yet Winter is not my bane.
Sky-golden glow I relish,
As much as chilling rains.

Only in darkness can we truly appreciate light,
Clear-crisp-cold contrasts with what’s warm in my life.

On an elm tree in a garden, 
The cicada does perch,
Immersed in song, and thirst for golden dew,
Yet in shadows unawares,
The mantis is waiting to pounce.

Such is the nature of our World.
Such is Nature, in our World,
As Autumn lull passes into Winter’s work,
My peers are waiting for the dawning of Spring,
While I take comfort in a world gone to sleep.
My guest arrives in a mere quarter of a year,
And I fear such time will not suffice,
To prepare all required of an unsedentary life.

I was born in the Summer, 
A time of light, 
But it is in the Winter that I thrive, 
No brightness illuminates greater than against the dark. 
My true self is the Shadow, between day and night, to exist as phenomenon, contradiction, anguished by conflicting plight. 
I exist between the moral guidelines of what is wrong and right.

So during the Winter, as my fellows sleep,
I make my moves to welcome Spring.
When the earth thaws and mellows,
I’m a daemon, manning all the bellows, 
Forging a tomorrow for what that season brings,
A fairer weather that more resembles come hither,

But that is a tale I will only tell once the audience has awoken.
Such words have no power if none can hear them spoken.
And at present, 
I am busy with my Winter’s work.

I was born in the Summer, A time of light, but it is in the Winter that I thrive, for no brightness illuminates greater than against the dark. My true self is the Shadow, between day and night, to exist as phenomenon, contradiction, anguished by conflicting plight. I exist between the moral guidelines of what is wrong and right. For me the only truth that can be felt is Power, of one’s own might. The moon can shine so beautifully, only because the Sun is away, and thus the stars come out to play.

“Things You Were Never Meant to Hear”

Tragedy breeds monsters and heroes alike,

Everyone’s immortal, until they die.

Give me everything, and I will give you nothing,

A fair exchange, for everything eventually fades, yet Nothing?

Nothing… is eternal.

Later is never, only now is forever.

The attitude in online games reflect the reasons why individuals of society don’t strive to be notable in real life. It was different before, but in a world of hyperreality, when we superimpose different lives and expect it to run harmoniously, there is a loss of purpose, and validation of the self for more rather than fewer. If everyone playing a community game is not striving to be their best, then what we see in those platforms are arguably the true self, expressing themselves. Rather than condemn, let us invest in a world that the youths today will be proud to inherit tomorrow.

When can I sip tea beneath a full moon night?
This land of ghosts is unfit for the living, 
A life unlived is undeserved.
Yet so beautiful, so high, as clear as lunar goddess above,
My future never shone so bright

“The Salesmen of Shinzol”

Imagine that you make an enemy, who can never die.

They do not confront you, nor do they ever address their enmity with you. Much like a beast that does not understand its own peril, after the initial scuffles are forgotten, you are unaware that there are those who patiently and meticulously bide their time, as they pursue and debilitate you, little by little, until you hardly recognise what you have become. Until one day, so exhausted and enfeebled, you collapse, defenceless against their whims and at that time, you will truly see them for that they are: shapeless, ever adaptable, and insidious as you have never encountered, or ever will again. Their most chilling aspect is not that they have defeated you, it is that they can not be outrun or dissuaded, and you will be completely lost as to their means and their methods. In time, even your children and their children’s children will also fall to these entities.

Once, at the dawn of Human neolithic societies, they were indistinguishable from people, and it was the animals they hunted which dimly comprehended just exactly what danger was hiding in plain sight. In time, as human civilisation developed, they became more and more adept at disguising themselves, at masking their true forms, and it was unclear how these invisible, intangible, unknowable, and immortal Aspects were also shaping Human history. Their agents are many, and none more effective than The Salesmen of Shinzol. In the 22^nd century BCE, there is even a nursery rhyme, of sorts, that warn children of the mysterious force…

Beware. Beware!

Step and tread where you dare,

For none are here that you should fear,

Except those who wait in the Darkness there.

Should anyone barter with Shinzol.

Behold the Fiend of blazing might,

Sets flames alight in forest nights.

If the Charmer you do face, away goes your face,

A monster in the mirror remains in place.

Then there is the Dweller of Ocean’s Deep,

Reveling in profit as denizens weep.

For the Architect there is no better game,

Than maiming, makes one blind, and lame.

When the Ogre does senses happiness,

Accept being tortured to eternal rest.

Then the Leech may have you yet,

To take all you love, taint all you get.

Lastly is the Priest of Ruin,

Smiling as he robs your faith,

The most terrifying of all,

He is the Leader of Shinzol.

Beware. Beware!

Step and tread where you dare,

For none are here that you should fear,

Except those who wait in the Darkness there.

“Words You’ll Never Hear Me Say”

I never said “Thank you”, for saving my life.

But I meant it, every day.
Those words I’d never say, 
For fear that the devil’s name incanted, 
Would re-invite that devil I recanted.

I never said, “I’m sorry”, for thrusting my burdens unto you.
To each and every one of you who proved true friendship’s true embrace, 
To chase away the despairing doom, that resignation of a fading man too proud to face naught but his own disgrace.

By day a man whose function is to play his social part,
At night the madness kept at bay seeps from his broken heart,

Wounded from the world he had hoped to deliver,
Now discarded, as obsolete, from him flows any good-will upon a salted river which stems from bitter seas, the backwards stream, the source is his gothic estuary,
No longer strives, faithless, tries, kept alive only barely, sparks the artificial soul that holds a flicker of what remained, but only rarely.

I would share a private thought with you,
You who cared so much that no walls of my demeanor could hold you back, to determine how I would end the joke that betrayed sardonic humour.
Somewhere amidst all despair and a fog of unfeeling all around me, I admit I found it funny,
Glad that soon I would be done with it all, at last, finally.

I’ll never reveal exactly, what it was, that made everything at that point turn out so wrong,
But I’m grateful you that didn’t need to know.
As I rotted away, inside firstly, then outwardly too,
I pretended it was just a game, where losing could be winning too.
But I could not pretend away the burning in my blood, slowly turning sour with each shallow breath that brought me ever closer to death,
Of my insides that began to retire when my self care faded away entire,
That my eyes were losing their daily light,
Yet spared me so from clearly seeing how my skin turned sallow and unseeming,
As well as my hair that fell away, as listless and lifeless as me, each weary day,
Though still I could not ignore the bleeding of my weakened blood-soaked gums so sore that food and eating had become a neglected chore.
It was in a voiceless rage I left my home to wander the nightly streets and look for quiet parks to roam.

Nor will I reveal exactly how long and arduous it has been, to rebuild a king on his deathbed throne.
But admittedly, I felt cheated, initially.
When you all exhumed from my private tomb,
Saving me from my self-dug grave,
And perhaps my eternal rest would have been for the best…
That’s another question, for another day,
Regarding those words that you’ll never hear me say.

I never said “Thank you”, for saving my life,
And it is likely that I never will.
Yet you will know I am not ungrateful,
Those who do me kindness will find that such philanthropy I respond in kind,
What I owe, I will always repay, all in good time.

Letters to the living, from a dead man.

Leprosy of the Soul,

Within a Cocoon of Hate

The sin eater, not suicidal, just prone to psychogenic death.

No power to preserve the present, so I can only record the fragments version, so that a part of it may live on when all is past.

I am not alone, but I am the only one who is awake, and thus that makes me lonely.

‘Litmus’ and ‘Cathy’s Short for Catharsis’ are both dedicated to‘The Lady of the Lake’

~Litmus~

Oh wild child, how you sweep into my life,

Carried by oh so serendipitous winds,

Brings your scent of the East to West,

That I am reminded of past longings spent…

How so, then, your vivacious charms,

That disbar the countenance mask adorned,

Upon me my visage that smiles and hide forlorn,

When a moment of irony yet undefined,

As you and I mutually disarm,

That vintage takes stock of that subtle subterfuge which, brewed and refined,

That brooding, an impatient final mastermind.

So whether we chance meet again,

Whether jaded at heart, or still as friends,

I can only say thank you for being You:

That I myself have no such sense of self,

Thus I am forced to reflect, be smooth,

Until something stirs ‘neath surface spells,

When I find that I am yet beset by moods long thought discarded.

Following the nature, that is natural,

The sweetness unilateral,

Which reminds of the truth of my being,

That I must retire each night to my lamply solitude,

And when confronted by the sooth in you,

Clear my choice is what I do choose…

Allow me, with your express permissions,

A tart lesson you taught me, by my own admissions,

That though for you the boundaries set,

Are place in hold to prevent regrets,

I wonder if you are so cognisant,

How when indulged in adoration, affection, ambrosia of being with you,

I forget my place in testing value’s face,

Yet it means not that I am disrespecting you…

I like you enough to own my faults,

Yet… I hope you see your own flaws too.

While candid, lucid in the aftermath of an instance of eternal emotional panoply,

I was honest even in happenstance,

That I walk a different, less wholesome path,

And my greatest fear is that I will be swayed,

Especially by someone like you.

Which is why, I am glad, that it was mutual understanding which did result,

Of a side adventure that serves as our gestalt,

And likewise, while this is a bon voyage,

We both felt what was no mere mirage,

Yet there is no oasis waiting for us in these deserts,

As I suppose we both reap our just desserts,

In our deliberations, our Litmus Test,

Before such feelings are laid to rest.

Fare thee well, so long, visit adjourned!

To right more wrongs, of lessons we learned.

Bless you, wild child, for this aftermath of a deluge prompting me to laugh,

At how wonderfully untamed Life simply is!

~Cathy’s Short for Catharsis~

When Cathy went away, I suppose she took a little bit of me with her.

But we were mature about it, and bade each other hither.

Or so I thought.

But now, here I am, a while since she’s been gone,

Not so long that I am bewildered by what’s wrong,

Yet not so soon that the freshness of her stay has yet gone away…

So I stumble, a drunkard, in a shirt with food stains and pants not much better,

Not changed since Cathy came and went,

For I wore these clothes with her when I was with her,

Clad as I am in her scent not yet spent.

And the bar maid gives me a look of sympathy,

As she watched me patron alone,

Flying solo, and now the last one there,

At last am done, and on my way home.

And although I drank to drown my sorrows,

I was merely treading water,

The pool surface is now a mirror…

So imagine my shock when I see my frock,

All dirty and dishevelled,

Gait unsturdy and unleveled,

Then I see my paunchy face and bloated guts,

Before me a sad and wretched creature with greasy hair, garnished by a sanguine air.

And I am sobered.

Good God man! Look at you!

How can you let yourself go like that!

What’s the matter, man?!

Acting so through and through!

To let your soul wizen, body’s weak and fat!

And at last the last of Cathy’s visit,

Has run its course, and my sorry self with it,

That I am now renewed by my little detox,

That I am un-sued, no longer in shock.

For I miss Cathy, and I will miss Cathy still,

But Cathy isn’t here, so Cathy isn’t real,

Yet I am present and made myself a gift of myself,

To take a shower and change my attire,

And to return to being the real Me again.

“The Profile Picture of Dorian Grey”

“The reason I will not exhibit this picture is that I am afraid that I have shown in it the secret of my own soul.”

Is there truly no one for me?

To have both the sharpness of wit,

Yet that rounded edge that cuts none too eager,

Of jade angles which employs skilled hands, not blades.

Décor is but dressing to the meal,

We consume without a second thought or care.

Though in both means and magnificence I have yet to discover such limits that apply to my mentality of Life and living.

Can there be none are able to peer into the abyss, and laugh, except I?

Can it be that Time will pass me by,

Alone in my ethereal Spring-Time…

Who does not crave their own kind?

What persons will I then find?

When it comes that all my friends shall die,

There is only one question: Why?

Or rather, Why Not?

It’s all the same, you know, as Time passes us by.

This fickleness I perceive and in turn conceive,

Acrimony suits thine societies.

Erasing what once was so much fun,

Behold, alas, now made undone…

I am neither better, nor alien,

Merely sane, then made insane again,

When rhyme or reason fails me to comprehend the antics of those I once called friend.

So instead of questioning a good thing,

I resign myself to be,

Impermanence embodied,

Between black and white,

Poor Dorian lingers.

When at last it all becomes moot,

I would have lost even those very memories of you.

And you.

And you.

And you!

Especially You…

I’ll Wildely laugh, as tribute to the history that never made it to the books,

As I make history which will render such tomes obsolete.

The View from Half-Way Down

(From ‘Bojack Horseman’)

The weak breeze whispers nothing,

The water screams sublime.

His feet shift, teeter-totter,

Deep breath, stand back, it’s time

Toes untouch the overpass,

Soon he’s water bound.

Eyes locked shut but peek to see

The view from halfway down.

A little wind, a summer sun,

A river rich and regal.

A flood of fond endorphins

Brings a calm that knows no equal.

You’re flying now.

You see things more more clear

Than from the ground.

It’s all okay, it would be,

Were you not not halfway down.

Thrash to break from gravity,

What now could slow the drop?

All I’d give for toes to touch

The safety back at top.

But this is it, the deed is done.

Silence drowns the sound.

Before I leaped I should have seen

The view from halfway down.

No, I really should have thought about

The view from halfway down.

I wish I could have known about

The view from halfway down.

“All this time, I thought they were blocking my sunshine. Only once they left did I realise; they were shielding me from the rain…”

My absence tends to have this effect, for my motives are simple, though the methods complex. So complicated are the hearts and minds of others, that I am ever a painted the villain until a hero is lacking. But that point, I regret only that I am not unchanged, and all debts will be repaid with interest.

Dionysus who lavished in such decadence millennia past, now partakes of the proletariat’s banquet. As gods fell from grace, the humanity they reflected also become erased. Our faceless corporations are exalted deities in these modern times, when the faithless discover that people still have need of faith.

How we must applaud ourselves, for being complicit in our own extinction.

Humans Toilets

I recall years ago, when I had just completed my PhD, and was about to be accepted into the police force, people asked me why I instead chose to stay a janitor. It still boggles their minds, even today, but this is what I said,

“I have searched through the ancient tomes and volunteered in the lowest slums, seeking to understand humanity. I am not too proud to do any kind of work, so long as I so with my own dignity, and I am not so shallow that I need recognition for my ability or accomplishments. Everywhere I have gone, I find petty, narrow minded, or wilfully ignorant persons, and sometimes my current level of cultivation is not enough to encourage their self-improvement- it is so disheartening to watch people destroy themselves without realising until it is too late. The greatest happiness is found in accountability, and service to a greater good. But I was unable to help everyone.

As a janitor, I was left to work at my own pace, taking pride in the fact that no matter what kind of human filth and degeneracy I encountered, there was never a toilet I could not restore to pristine glory. It gave me hope that, one day, I would discover how to do the same for the human equivalent of such toilets.”

My students argued:

“Yeah, but some people are just too full of $#!+ to give a $#!+ about!”

My response?

“When you stare into the Abyss, take caution, for it is inevitable that the Abyss will gaze back at you. Do not become the evil you are fighting, for if you do, it has already won.”

But yeah, some people are just full of it

Removing Human Instincts and Desires

The concept of ascetic practices has become synonymous with removing desires of the flesh. Sexuality is normally suppressed in pursuit of spiritual cultivation, and it is common to find practices that are designed to control human emotion and the urge for human connection, though often intended as a form of torture. While I could draw upon real life groups, instead of making an enemy, I will merely cite a common example that will allow me to stay in the safety net of hypotheticality: the Jedi Order of Star Wars. If we were to hear about a group that took children away from their families to suppress their natural urges and human instincts, to serve a ‘Greater Good’, then the word “cult” springs to mind. If this was your childhood, then forgive me for opening an old wound- these never fully heal, so you might as well learn to live with it. We even see this presented as propaganda in the prequels: their depictions as a benevolent order are challenged, then distorted, parallel to the real-world view that cults are generally dangerous and extreme (sometimes even extremely dangerous!). As Chancellor Palpatine convinced Anakin, “The Jedi are trying to take over!”.

Denying a feeling makes it stronger, repression usually leads to some rather unexpected outbursts. Anyone who has tried therapy would be well familiar with the relief of unloading mental burdens, but sometimes there are pressures that cannot be alleviated so easily, especially when it comes to self-identity. There are some who would now draw the connection between the dual lives of closeted homosexuals, and the social environment which lead to such precautions. Without trying to get entangled within the webs of historical illegality and biological validity, I will present that if homosexuality is to be accepted on the grounds that it is natural, then what distinctions must be made between it and other paraphilias? Regarding Bestiality and Paedophilia (being some rather strawman examples) we are almost unanimous in a stance against such expressions of those desires, even though I am certain we could make a case for such feelings to be ‘natural’ as well. In protest, many could now argue that without valid consent, those examples cannot be compared with homosexuality and the LGBQTA+ community: now, all of a sudden, something that wasn’t a choice* is only acceptable because of the ability to make choices. Another [simpler] viewpoint is that we’re all just overcomplicating sexuality in general, but I suppose liberal arts students need degrees too.

To continue this with fair advocacy, I will flip the script by asking if heterosexuality is natural, and apply every argument that could be applied to paraphilia. Immediately, we can argue it is more natural because it is the majority, and it is un-utilitarian to suggest that the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many (though Human Nature does not always follow this pragmatism). In fact, without heterosexuality being the norm, life as we know it would be drastically different, as we now bring in the practicality of having children, which leads to the continuation of not only society, but the species in general. This may be the only advantage that heterosexuality has over homosexuality (barring arguments that we are heavily overpopulated, and less inclined to have children as it wouldn’t be responsible in our depressing world, etc etc). Biology aside, I could present the view that any type of attraction should be considered unnatural. The reality is that we only condone certain types of sexuality because a status quo exists that aims to preserve as sense of perceived stability. Part of the fun in Life is watching people struggle to rationalise their choices, when in reality the pretension of the normal is a symptom of their general unawareness.

Being void of basic human instincts is something that is usually depicted as a trait of psychopaths, a word that has such shifting meanings in mainstream culture that I’m not going to bother with providing a “technical” definition. Still, I do think that if a truly encompassing definition were to be provided, then it still wouldn’t benefit the “normal people” who view the world in their normal, default way, and could not comprehend it outside of those limitations (not that I deliberately use the word ‘normal’ as a pejorative). But of course, perhaps the psychopath is the one who is incapable of viewing the world in the normal way, and so are rightly stigmatised. Compassion, kindness, altruism, and love, are feelings with counterparts such as malice, sadism, apathy, and murderous intent, so it may make sense why those who walk the path of seeking enlightenment decide to stay away from the realm of emotions altogether: it is possible that one could choose to only indulge positive urges, but to reiterate the point, surely only psychopaths have an easier time doing that… I’ll chalk it up to a case of “glass half empty, glass half full”.

*Sexuality is obviously a choice- but one only you should be able to make for yourself.

Everyone should make fun of everyone- only then can we determine if there is equality. To know one’s freedoms, simply ask who you cannot speak against.

“Time does not move forward for the dead. As much as you breath and consume and perform the routines of the living, you are not alive. So make peace with your dying, and accept your death.”

There is no slaughter without laughter, all belief as a lie at the core.

“Unexpressed emotion will never die. They are buried alive, and will come forth later in uglier ways.” -Sigmund Freud.

“I don’t know why we are here, but I’m pretty sure it is not to enjoy ourselves.”

–Ludwig Wittgenstein.

Waste and Weakness are sins. I would not despise you if you were not so weak, and I would eliminate you, if it weren’t such a waste.

~Solomon’s Philanthropic Hypothetical~

Supernatural Aliens give YOU the choice to improve conditions on Earth. They will return in 500 years, and if general conditions have not improved (wars, environmental, social advancement, etc) they will erase Earth. Any humans in outer space will also be hunted down and erased. You must pick 2 choices from the list, or the Earth is immediately erased.

1. All humans have telepathy. The range works in a manner similar to hearing/sight. The telepathy also enhances empathic abilities. People can train this ability to mask true thoughts, but it will be obvious that they are hiding something.

2. All human lifespans are halved, while general health and immunity/resistances/vitality is doubled.

3. All humans born once this choice is made are sterile, but immortal, and will not age past their biological 30 years. Can die of unnatural causes.

4. All humans can edit their appearance via selective DNA manipulation once they become legal adults (one time only change, irreversible). Existing adults can do the same. You can change race/gender/cosmetic features but injuries/genetic conditions remain. You will continue to go through life normally afterwards e.g. aging.

5. In the last year of one’s life, a person will transform into a healthy version of themselves at their biological peak (e.g. 22 years old). Lifespan does not increase. Old injuries/genetic conditions are healed, but you are still susceptible to future injuries etc.

6. A human will always be able to locate their True soulmate (innate instinct). The effects of love (between soulmates) do not wane over time either, so pair bonding is usually long term.

7. The Earth is restored to natural states of optimal ecology: all water/land/sky pollution is reset, and trees will replenish themselves somewhat. But any further damage occurs as normal.

8. Humans do not require sleep, but would require appropriately more amounts of nutrition instead. Sleeping is still possible if one chooses to.

The Anti-Buddha

“A butcher may become a Buddha, if they drop their cleaver.” This is a common saying in Buddhism, almost as much as “The sea of bitterness has no end, thus better to turn around, and head back to the shore.” Obviously, this is related to forgiveness, and transcending grudges. Long ago, or maybe not so long ago (What does time even mean across the entire scope of Human history?) a child was born, and became associated with a prophesy. He would one day become a venerable and enlightened saint, a spiritual saviour in a world increasingly devoid of moral stock; barring this, he would become a great founder of a worldly empire, amassing material wealth and a panoply of pleasures that are available to the human experience. This child of prophesy was born into an impoverished family, and seemed content to live in a virtuous and conscientious manner. Often, he would display great understanding when his parents told him that there was dignity in poverty, and unmatched freedom in a rustic, subsistent life. So it continued, for decades, until he was a grown man, and he had shunned both material and carnal temptations, sacrificed all he had, indeed, he sacrificed all he was, in order to cultivate his mind, body, and spirit.

Many of his peers and juniors admired him for his ascetic Zen, as well as his seemingly devoted path of enlightenment. Whenever he chanced to talk with eminent seniors, all seem to remark upon his uncanny lateral cognition. In addition to his studies and pursuit of cosmic nirvana, he also made an effort to understand the world he had been born into- the Modern Age, and the chaos that brewed in those times. Human beings have been the same since the dawn of civilisation, and all superficial advances cannot compare to the intrinsic maelstrom of our turbulent natures. This is a useful perspective to have, if one wishes to track the journey from the Neolithic times, but in saying that, it means we have not yet managed to transcend the flaws which plagued us since the dawn of history and pre-history. After spending much time troubled by this, he eventually realised that it was all one, and that it was all part of a dance that he suspected was vital to the nature of the universe: Order and Chaos, as well as the Game-board itself. This can be considered his Awakening, which upon lies the very crux of what achieving Buddhahood constitutes. It was then that he realised what he must do, what he felt compelled to do, in order to remain true to his desire to save the world. From that time forth, he started branching out into different sectors of society, vowing not to rest until his influence was completely spread across the globe, and he would take over the planet in a virtually bloodless coup that employed every utility of Humanity’s Light as well as its Shadows, in order to save the world. In the process, he naturally indulged in all the pleasures and delights of the wealthy, the powerful, the privileged, and the elite, because why not?

That Awakening, his epiphany, did not cause him to see the world in a better light, for he had always strived to do so, and rarely required much effort to engage with the world positively. Instead, he was now aware of how much the decay, this leprosy of the soul, had spread, and instead of a cure, the people seemed satisfied to merely hide the damage with cosmetics. Yet, no matter how much make-up one applies to the soul, they cannot make up for their soul. Sometimes a patient is too far gone to heal, but he would not give up on this one, and was determined, to save the World. At the end of the day, everyone has their own part to play, and whether you do it well or poorly doesn’t concern the Universe- you just have to show up for the job, so you might as well enjoy it, while you’re here. At least until the Anti-Buddha is ready to save us from ourselves.

I had another dream, that dream again. That I was back in high school, and I was skipping class, probably maths. I either didn’t go to school, or I didn’t go to the class. There was a stigma about me, but at the same time, my behaviour was tolerated by staff, students, and my parents.

I was behind my classes, that I felt there was no point in attending, but still I had to maintain a routine. There was fear, shame, guilt, and while I knew I was smart enough, I also did not feel like I could escape my cycle, reinforced with each day I skipped class. A longing for me to start fresh, as a 17-year-old boy, but I realised how old I was now, at 24, then at 30. I still am that 17-year-old, and that 24-year-old, while being 30. A failure because I didn’t pass high school.

So in my dream I decided that enough was enough, it wouldn’t be impossible for me to go back to high school and start fresh. To graduate and slay that demon if my past.

I woke up, and realised, as I remembered my actual life, that I did pass high school, despite my adolescent problems. But the recurring dream spoke to me about something profound, that my unfinished education haunted me and desired a resolution. It was probably not high school, but my early uni life.

At some point I was able to empathise with all those students who were living on the fringes of an education system that couldn’t care enough to ensure that they wouldn’t be left behind.

At some point, I realised that I experiencing a dream, but a nightmare, soft and insidious, that crept up ever so gradually that I never realised it before…

When a man says that he will do something you should do it however that’s not to say that he’s going to there for the true measure of an of a man is not what he says he’s going to do but rather the reason he gives you for not doing something that will tell you more about this character than the actions themselves

Slowly, ever so slowly, as my body, my spirit, and my mind returned,
I am at last as peace with everything I have learned,
About myself, and others, and what it is I am going to do,
To wear a mask so splendidly crafted, at last I may give form to that essence, that patience.
Imagine what insidious and terrifying the have something consciously working to undermine you over a long period of time. This was primordial man, during the hunt, and it is still man now, except the spirit of our darker nature that robs us of power, little by little. I will take their tactics, and use them against this unseen, unheard, intangible enemy.

No matter how much you hate those who discriminate, who take advantage of the innocent, who exploit others, I will say simply that Hate is Hate, no matter where it springs from. The only way to create a better tomorrow, is to avoid recycling the problems of today. I have met no one who claims to be on the side of Good, Righteousness, and Justice, who did not display hypocrisy when hating their enemies.

There is an anime that I enjoyed, recommended by a man whom I would recommend to be King, which delved into the ideas of free-will versus security: it is called Psycho-Pass. I was quite fascinated with the premise, for it two reasons (spoilers ahead).

Firstly, the society of Japan was controlled by a hive mind of psychopath brains in jars, working to pass judgements with greater efficacy than A.I. ever could (though I suspect they were augmented by A.I. as well). It was believed that only neurodivergent psychopaths could pass judgement on fellow humans without the shadow of hypocrisy, and they DID do a great job.

Secondly, the society presented is the closest I have ever seen to a truly feasible and attainable utopia. While some may argue that the people actually live in a dystopia, I would counter that there isn’t much difference between a dream and a pleasant nightmare.

The people of Psycho-Pass’s world live in a high tech, organised, relatively crime free society where productivity and net GDP is consistently high. While Orwellian, as there is surveillance everywhere in society (barring private homes/estates), the people enjoy a stable life with many liberties and luxuries. While people have criticised the society, as well as the governance, in the series, I cannot help but agree with how marvellously the fictional society blends together human freedom with the necessity of human security. While it was Benjamin Franklin who said that a country which trades a little freedom for a little security deserves neither, and will lose both, the world of Psycho-Pass seems to have addressed this by giving people as much freedom as they can handle, while maintaining a watchful eye over them. Of course, I won’t go into details about how people are psychometrically tested at every given interval, as I do the same with people in my own life, but that’s hardly an intrusion of rights: do we discriminate against the more discerning members of society, who are better able to assess people and situations? Oh alright, the government profiles people, but it evidently works!

Want someone to be your Sunshine, yet never wonder how they get their light? You want someone to be a permanent assistant, don’t pretend that you’re asking for something reciprocal: this is why it is so important to give before you receive. Power allows us to take, but being powerful means that we do not take indiscriminately.

Johanna Schopenhauer to her son Arthur Schopenhauer, dated 6th November 1807.

“You are not an evil human; you are not without intellect and education; you have everything that could make you a credit to human society. Moreover, I am acquainted with your heart and know that few are better, but you are nevertheless irritating and unbearable, and I consider it most difficult to live with you.

All of your good qualities become obscured by your super-cleverness and are made useless to the world merely because of your rage at wanting to know everything better than others; of wanting to improve and master what you cannot command. With this you embitter the people around you, since no one wants to be improved or enlightened in such a forceful way, least of all by such an insignificant individual as you still are; no one can tolerate being reproved by you, who also still show so many weaknesses yourself, least of all in your adverse manner, which in oracular tones, proclaims this is so and so, without ever supposing an objection.

If you were less like you, you would only be ridiculous, but thus as you are, you are highly annoying.”


“We cannot change anything until we accept it.”

– Carl Jung.

“No one can corrupt you except yourself”

-Kierkegaard, provocations.

“It is true that we are weak and sick and ugly and quarrelsome but if that is all we ever were, we would millenniums ago have disappeared from the face of the earth.”

-John Steinbeck

“It is necessary for him who lays out a state and arranges laws for it to presuppose that all men are evil and that they are always going to act according to the wickedness of their spirits whenever they have free scope.”

-Niccolò Machiavelli

Maybe it is impossible for humans to consciously change, in the sense that we are blind to our actions from an outside angle, we lack the perspective the depth, the ability to reflect/introspect our actions. Hence why we need to practice meditation… that our simply accept our natures, and do the best we heuristically can.

Tit for tat is a principle that I abide by as a villain, for it is Karma. Do as you please? Then so will I. That seems to be the fairest method. Over time, power will reveal the truth, and at that point, it may be too late to beg for mercy.



In understanding great anger and wrath, I would choose to stop the Earth rotating for a second. Our planet moves at 800 miles p/h, which means that if that were to happen, we would cause such devastation that arose from a mere moment of ill will. Thus, we must choose to be deliberate and sparing with our volatile emotions, for the harm done is rarely able to be undone, and the consequences must be faced by those who made their choice.


Necrophilia and Zen does not immediately cast a pleasant image, but nor is it meant to! Unlike gothic poetry/prose, there is not a fascination with death, but the fact that it is very real and disperses most illusions (which we can argue that gothic art/poetry is enamoured with). The whole point was for monks to master their carnal desires, but studying the decomposition of the body, which was macabre, but taught them to look beyond fleeting desires, such as the urge to reproduce. To develop an asexuality via shock horror of visual discouragement. Now might not be the best time to talk about how love amongst one’s fellows was not necessarily frowned upon (as a matter of escaping carnal desire), and this would be an even worse time to mention Catholic priests and altar boys. The bottom line is that repressing one’s nature can be an act of mind over matter, but for those who are not up to the task, it is a repression of natural desire, which will erupt forth in sometimes undesirable ways.



“If righteousness and evil cannot be discerned by their appear appearance, how does one understand the true path? I have been a good man for as long as I recall, making peace instead of enemies was my creed. Yet did anyone ever respect my ideals, without my power to enforce my choices? When I opened myself to vulnerability, who did not attack me relentlessly in hopes of alleviating a grudge?
If the price of being an upright gentleman is to be scorned, then the only comfort is in one’s own superiority.

 If the people cannot understand the context of your selflessness, how can they ever appreciate it?

Those who can, are worthy. Those who cannot, need my brand of justice the most.

If the price of peace is one’s self, then I would choose to be an enemy of the world.”

Do not go gently into that good night,
Rage, rage against the
Dying of the light.

PBS eon, the contribution of other hominids to our survival. Like the teachings we gather from different people in life. The whole brocade of culture. Propriety, Li. Parallax: perspective shifts



There was a famously unethical experiment where a chimpanzee baby and a human baby were raised together, by a doctor more famously known for his breakfast cereal. It involved raising the two different animals together, in hopes that the human upbringing would produce a ‘human’ chimpanzee; of course, the experiment did not succeed. Inherent nature is something that we must question, for the chimpanzee was an animal, yes one very similar to humans, but an animal nonetheless, and while domesticating one might be more achievable, assimilating one is another question entirely. The part I wish to focus on is how the chimp actively punished the human child for outperforming it, as it understood on some level that it was limited. In the same vein, perhaps it is not so different from humans after all, as we see how much more inclined people are to drag others down, instead of raising them up. Another analogy compares this behaviour to crabs in a bucket, where captive crabs on the top have a chance to escape, yet are pulled back by its fellow captive crabs. Therefore, it is not such a bad thing to be alone, if one wishes to hone themselves and improve, for while people will congratulate the results, fewer will support the process, and may even actively sabotage as the crabs.



I let my Hate burn bright, a blaze through my soul, that shed light in darkness so that I may see before the smoulders arising from my charred remains. Heaven wept, but salvation oft arrives too late. From my ashen state I was thus made clean, washed white and blank, the remnant of forgotten flames. And I merged with the earth and soil, infused my essence with that Future so uncertain. As is with ancient alchemy, I will be reborn, to try my hand at living again. Hate seems to be a difficult emotion for a lot of psychologists to define, for when used as it is intended, it is more than just a deep dislike or sever anger: Hate is seemingly a unique emotion. However, I have already maintained that it is not as difficult to place as they might argue, for it is merely a side of Love that we find irreconcilable with that feeling, thus we must call it something else. The fact that it tends to be directed at individuals, at its most potent, and stems from a sense of fundamentally non-negotiable differences speaks to how it is related to one’s true nature, and why repressing Hate only serves to strengthen it. Much like unrequited Love, unrequited Hate can have strange and adverse effects…




“Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal’d by the same means, warm’d and cool’d by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.”

— Shakespeare, Merchant of Venice, Act III, scene I



”In Plato’s Theages it is written: ”Each one of us would like to be master over all men, if possible, and best of all God.” This attitude must exist again.”

Theages actually says: ”I should indeed pray, I imagine, that I might become a despot, if possible, over all men, and failing that, over as many as might be; so would you, I imagine, and everybody else besides: nay, even more, I daresay, that I might become a god.”

What this means is that Theages is desperate to have virtue, political virtue. By having it, he’ll be master of all men in the city, having a god like power. This is what the old sophists were claiming to teach the young men of Athens: unlimited power. And this is what philosophy gives you: it doesn’t only give you virtue and knowledge, but also power: the power to persuade, manipulate and control. 

Philosophy can make you master of yourself, or, over yourself, and also the master over all men. Philosophy can also give you a god like power – since, like Nietzsche believes, god is born out of the mind and deed of the superhuman. This is the attitude Nietzsche wants to exist again – to become a superhuman through philosophy with a god like power.”

–Something someone said in one of my philosophy circles, which I liked.

 “We are all Immortal until we die”

This is meant for you who lacks the courage to hear this uttered whilst alive.
Your sins run deeper than you can imagine, my disappointment is testament to your flaws.

The truth is a shadow you hide in darkness, and can never outrun.

I despair for your lackwit, wanton, mediocre quantum, that insults the heavens as celestial bodies fade.
What are you now, but a faint memory of who you were meant to be.

Compromise has killed your integrity, as much as shame lulls you to complacency.

I do not care as much for who you are today, but instead for what you will become tomorrow.

The less said about yesterday the better, you commit enough betrayal in the here and now.

Allow cynicism to masquerade as wisdom?

Such a decision akin to a parent who plays the child.
The farce of truly earning your position, a delusion threatened by the premise of moral outrage.
I envy you, one who compensates whatever deficits encountered, regardless of the means to pay.

Did you suppose you could slay any worm and call it a dragon?

 Such tragedy breeds monsters and heroes alike.

Your heart is yet to turn golden, your blood not quite so blue,

Nobility is dignity no one can just give to you.

So like the raven never flitting, still I’m sitting, still I’m sitting, upon the forsaken path of virtues you abandoned without a second thought. And your life though wrought with merriment is an illusion to cloud the sentiments of a you who strived to be better than the person in the mirror, someone worthwhile, someone dearer, and a true friend we’re unable to experience anymore; in their stead stand a collection of ineptitudes given human deform.

Summum Malum (Omega)

(A homage to Nietzsche, who is noticeably lacking in a book titled “Summum Malum”)

“Limited in nature, infinite in his desires, man is a False God who remembers the heavens”

-Alphonse de Lamartine

My peers considered me a psychopath, but I maintain I was one who was trying to be a paragon instead of manipulating others for gain. Actually, it may be because I was merely a sociopath before, and I wanted to be free from the torment of trying to fit in where I knew I didn’t belong. Perhaps psychopathy is the natural evolution of controlled eccentricity?

So I began looking for a smarter group of friends, but I laughed when I realised the futility- I wasn’t addressing the real issue, which is trying to change for the wrong reasons. Effectively killing my good self would not be the greatest crime, for all beginnings have an ending according to the cosmic scheme. The greater conversion is to kill that past self, and turn it into a convincing costume. To skin your old self, and masquerade in that metaphysical hide/mask. Somehow, I felt like that had happened to me long ago, but I merely forgot about it, and when I look into a mirror, I can only see the facade, and take it for my real face. I’m only alive at the divide that edge between life and death: that’s the only time anything matters to me.

Imagine a perfect man who made every mistake, just so that when he resumed his flawlessness, he could feign having learned from them. Can you imagine how he missed the mark?

But perhaps his only error, was in choosing to err at all. To do so is to be… human.
The form of his repentance lacked the essence of actually overcoming our faults.

Yet if his only blemish was that he had none, is that really so wrong?

His only crime was that he denied his true nature, and allowed others to convince him otherwise. While well-intentioned, we must all take it upon ourselves to be true to our intrinsic values. Thus, when a mistake has occurred, we can more readily accept it, and proceed in accordance with what is right. The Greater Good is almost a God that we choose to follow, and maybe it was as such in the past, before we also missed the mark. It would not do well to take too much stock into deifications, no matter how ancient or sacred, if we do not also embrace the essence of our deities, and not merely their form.

Is God good and omnipotent?
Perhaps, like us, God is powerless because he has access to omni-choices.

I recall once saving a caterpillar from ants. I did not feel joy, but instead horror at the indecision to save or condemn. It made me ask: what is a god? Weak men succumb to novelties, but weak deities wear the guise of humans.

If God will not save us, I will create my own under the ideals of the Greater Good, and do what he cannot- save us all from ourselves. Everything is Evil nowadays, that is what modern society has become, but being good seems to me the lesser of two evils, and a Villain is certainly necessary to implement this. It is not that you are not a good person, you are, but others are better. Still, do not let that detract you from what you are, otherwise you abandon your status as someone good.

To blame God for not caring, is almost akin to creating something to offer ourselves salvation, yet become disappointed when it does not. Am I talking about religion, or pre-divorced parents having a baby? The relationship between us and the divine is not as easy to divide as some would wish.

Is it then right to blame evil on the Devil? Therefore, do we blame all problems on the contemporary institutions? Wasn’t Satan merely an angel who had other ideas, and became a scapegoat? No, I do not aim to speak of certain branches of Gnosticism, but merely a return to the origins of both: the human potential to create and destroy.

By Natural Law, the way of the world is to fade away and be reborn. Thus is such that complacency and weakness go hand in hand. One who is sleeping is not yet dead, those whose power is forming are not so meek, as nothing lasts, thus it is more important not to be attached to the finite, embrace infinity as an ephemeral mask. If everyone learned magic, they would cease to be mere humans. Arrogance and complacency breed, and feed each other. With Crystal balls they view life instead of living it. The great spirit dies, little by little, depression is not a disease but the anti-inflammatory response of a spiritual immune system.

I imagined a truly evil world, where the masses are robbed of their potential, and fed poisons to addict them to underperforming. Where the vast wealth is maintained by the few, in a systematically controlled and growing manner. Listless indecision, under the guise of freedom, has made an entire generation weak, diluting the connection one has with Mind, Body, and Spirit, as well as Self, Community, and the Transcendental. Then I realise that it was not necessary to imagine, but had already become reality. A cruel joke by a god without a sense of humour. Yet the punchline is that we did it to ourselves!

If we die, we die: that’s the Human Experience. But when we live, oh, how we are alive! That is also the Human Experience. Someone once said, “The justice system does not exist to punish crime, but to reveal its existence.” Using poison to fight poison, and then transmuting the results into something to serve the Greater Good, this is the crux of Summum Malum.

Ode to Mediocrity:

The Master and Disciple Dialogues

While these stories could be considered inspired by Zen Koans, I have no doubt that many will misinterpret this as elitist prosaics (prose mosaic portmanteau). My intention in these were as Anti-Koans, which would help act as soapstone to the husky mind and gnarled soul. In the same vein, Pandora was meant to be beautiful, and we were meant to see past that beauty…

1. The Master and student were discussing the finality of Life. The student asked his teacher a question, which carried a trace of concealed scepticism.

“Master, what happens when we die?”

“Simple. You will experience an abridged form of Enlightenment, and glimpse all of reality at once.”

“But what about the idea of an afterlife? What, then, is Heaven?”

“It is the future.”

“Amazing! In that case, what about Hell?”

“That is also the future.”

“… But, how is that possible? How can Heaven and Hell be same thing?!”

“At the point where all reality converges, discussing a Heaven is also the same as discussing a Hell. That is hard to grasp for the uninitiated, because humans cannot easily entertain simultaneous notions. In the same way, what I teach you can never be learnt, because your innate nature already understands the futility, and resists me.”

“In that case, why did you agree to take me on as a student? What is the point of learning what I can never understand?”

“For you to potentially become enlightened, one day, would take maybe 2 to 7 aeons.”

“Can’t I reach it much sooner?”

“Yes, that can easily be arranged, for I can help you ‘ascend’. I trust you have your affairs in order?”

The Disciple graciously declined, realising that he had much left to do in this world, and was content to remain as he was, as he had for the last 500 years.

2. It was when The Master has already taught for some time that The Disciple, his first disciple, came to him one day with a look of such forlornity that the Master took him out to eat the tasty salty and oily treats which they were all accustomed to enjoying. He watched as The Disciple at first took a bite with relish, then devoured his first few items with great relish, and then finally pushed the rest away in disgust, telling The Master that he was now full. Intrigued, the Master asked him,

“At first you indulged with great delight, then your face turned sour, and finally you expressed disdain at what caused you former joy. What thoughts were going through your head, young one?”

“Master, I know that you always encourage me to be honest with my feelings, distasteful as I find them, but are you saying in this case that I should not have done so? If so, what is the correct expression and thought to have while eating?”

Replied the Master, “There is no correct expression or thought, but I suppose that I am reminded of the old saying, ‘When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep.’ Can you say that you were only eating, enjoying the taste without needing to document it? No? As such, your mind seemed preoccupied with something. What ails you?”

After a while, Disciple revealed what was bothering him, “Well, Master, earlier today I overheard you telling 3^rd Disciple that he had been progressing very quickly, that the Karma was right with him, and that he would soon attain the first stage of enlightenment. He has been your student for barely half a year, while I am soon approaching the tenth year of my apprenticeship! Have I too passed the first stage of Enlightenment?”

“Hmm, well, to be honest, you were closer to that stage before you questioned which stage you have reached, but now that you have become disturbed by what another has achieved, your cultivation has become all but lost. Fortunately, you have the great opportunity to start again, at the beginning! This is truly a chance for rejoicing!”

Hearing this did not make The Disciple happy, and he looked even more depressed as a result. After a while, he exclaimed, “Teacher, I have been by your side for almost 10 years, and now I am forced to start again from the beginning?! Why is it that 3^rd disciple could reach, in months, what took me years?”

Amused, the Master told him what he had been telling him in some way, shape, or form with every lesson,

“I suppose it’s because everyone has their own sets of talents and ability- this is not something so surprising, and has always been the way of the world. But to tailor my answer, I suppose that when I give instruction, it is akin to giving water. There is a great difference in giving water to a rock, as opposed to a flowing stream. 3rd Disciple never resists me, or my teachings, and no matter what obstacles are placed in his way, he flows through them without even breaking pace. In contrast, you came to me with a mind full of sharp and hard edges, such preconceptions, and have fought me since you began your tutelage.”

“So you’re saying that I am a failure because it is my fault?”

“Nay, quite the opposite- you do what a rock is meant to do! But only you seem to be dissatisfied with being who you are.”

First Disciple did not understand, but he accepted it, too tired to care about understanding at this point, and they continued eating.

3. “Wealth is a mentality: do you have any thoughts on the matter?”

Thinking carefully, knowing that his teacher was as tricky as the Gods of Fate and Fortune, The Disciple was cautious to avoid any obvious pitfalls.

“I suppose, Master, that we must differentiate between wealth and riches?”

“Yes! How you delight me, my apprentice, realising that knowledge and understanding are not the same!” Beaming, his master’s attitude emboldened the Disciple, and the latter decided to venture further,

“But still, I believe that wealth or riches are essentially the same when it comes to poverty, in that the impoverished have neither, or few.”

The two mused a while, for both had known poverty, and experienced it still, yet the Master’s was more voluntary than not, seeing as he was not rich yet lacked for little. Eventually, the Master elaborated,

“With all the riches in the world, and all the material wealth you desire, without a Wealth Mentality, you are destined to lose it if you have an Impoverished Mentality. Kings of the past, possessing such splendour, have been proof of this. In fact, you need only see the Middle Class, and how many of them still suffer poverty, albeit masked in decadence and comfort.”

“But Teacher, surely that is not the case for the truly impoverished? Those who struggle to make ends meet, and who lack the comforts of their higher economic brethren, due to systemic injustices. I refuse to believe that such folks can simply escape poverty because of their mindset!”

“Well, there is some truth in that. After all, the rich become richer, while the poor become poorer, and in many cases, there is a high correlation between ignorance and the latter. Yet no matter how much money one gives out, a Poor mentality will see that it bleeds away, without becoming wealth. It is not what you have that is as important as your ability to gain what you have. How many lament that their cup is half full? These people also had an empty cup prior, and were dying of thirst, until someone poured them some water to drink.”

“Is it also the case that they did not know how to fill their own glasses?”

“Very astute! Yes, better to teach someone to fish, than to merely provide fish. This is the Karmic economics of the Universe. Hence, we should not eradicate hunger, as many would lose their motivation to succeed.”

Thinking that this was somewhat objectionable, The Disciple pointed out that it was cruelty to endorse suffer, even passively, to which his teacher countered,

“Nay, you misunderstand: Hunger should not be eradicated, but Starvation should, if possible. To be hungry is not truly to suffer, as stress is merely a bodily response that serves a purpose.”

His disciple, who had spent too many times hungry and stressed, thought otherwise, and maintained his views of a Utopian future that allowed for all to be provided for amply. He did not realise yet, that such experiences were integral to the human condition, and a life seeking nothing except comfort and pleasure was not evil, but would inevitably dull the senses, and diminish the Soul.

4. The Disciple played a tabletop roleplaying game, which was a constructive creative social pass time for many, but also served a fulfilment role for others who abandoned reality in favour of fantasy. One day, he mentioned to his Master that his own character was unable to shine because he lacked priority for support skill combat enhancements (from the other players). 

“If only they would focus their augmentations upon me, then I could truly be myself!”

The Master shook his head, and rebuked his disciple,

“If you lost your worldly possessions today, and were separated from your comrades, all alone, would you not still be yourself?”

“Well, yes, but this is different!” 

“How so?”

The Disciple went on to explain that in the game, his character was able to exceed the normal game limitations, and gave stellar performance. The Master discerned that his Disciple enjoyed the sense of power, the ease at which a temporarily boosted character could achieve, and shook his head, saying,

“If one were to take performance enhancing drugs, they are not truly themselves. If one were to take encouragement from praise, then they would be truer to themselves. The difference between earned and unearned enhancement lies in sincerity. That is why when people are distressed or otherwise preoccupied, they say they are not themselves.”

“Then, teacher, what am I?” 

“You are not yourself, but what you try to be.”

“Is that a problem?”  

“Only if you forget who you are, and what you were.”

5.

On the topic of stagnation, The Master reminded his disciple that one must get comfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable. “If you only do what you can, you’ll never be more than what you are!”

“But teacher, how can that be? I can only do what I know how to do!”

“Did you always know what you know now? No one exceeds their potential, the idea that we do is a mere platitude. But you can become something with greater potential than what you once were. This is the secret of life, the reason we are as we are today, and why we will not be as we are tomorrow. At least, one would hope. The only true death is when you stop growing as a person. Are you ready to join the dead, or are you committed to remaining alive?

“I want to live.”

“Good! In that case, you must die, for you have uncommonly strong survival instincts. Don’t worry though, the kind of death I have in mind isn’t permanent, and afterwards, you will be more alive than you are now.” 

“Oh… good… I think…”

6.  A master demonstrates, and his students empty themselves to receive the pouring of information. But empty vessels are easily crushed, which is why an unskilled master has more trouble with unwilling students.

Still, only the empty vessel has any use as a receiver of knowledge- this must be balanced between the role of student and teacher. A true master will have a balanced and solid base, thus is not easily knocked over, despite emptiness. After all, if he has no room to be filled, then he cannot receive, and thus the cycle of Giving and Receiving halts to everyone’s detriment.

When full, simply empty in order to become filled again.

7. “What is memory? The only gift I have for you, so I hope you will remember me.”

Master and Disciple were discussing the impact of memory, specifically the meaning of ghosts in the mind. The Disciple had studied some of the psychological sciences, and noted to his teacher,

“I have learnt that memories are heavily unreliable, and are recreated each time we recall them. Thus, how can we say for certain that the past ever occurred?”

His teacher smiled, and nodded approvingly,

“Yes, and the literature also says purports that our consciousness may simply be short term memory, nothing more… in which case, who we are is a surprisingly fluid concept from day to day, or rather, recollection to recollection. However, it matters not- the Truth remains.”

Not quite convinced, the Disciple pressed onwards, and argued that the very idea of truth must certainly be questioned, if memory was such a flimsy and unreliable archive of events, and as such, what was the point of taking the spoken word at face value. He elaborated,

“I could simply state that my memories, despite the potential for flaws, are the truth I cling unto, and what gives anyone else the right to say otherwise? It is my belief that I know, and I know that my beliefs are founded upon reason and logic, thus am I now infallible?”

As the Master pondered the position, with a smile, the disciple thought that at last his teacher had been stumped, or at the very least, perplexed; years of his master’s superiority were suddenly threatened by this premise, and the Disciple continued,

“How can you know what you preach is right, if there is no foundation to rest upon? How can you argue that there is a right path or a wrong path, if your views are potentially faulty? What even is the Truth?!” His teacher was deep in thought, and did not immediately respond, and The Disciple felt a sense of triumph. But soon, the Master focused his attention on the Disciple, and apologised for his lack of attention, explaining,

“Forgive me, disciple, I was trying to recall if I had left my laundry out to dry. Your talk of memory made me consider the possibility that I may have neglected it. But to answer your question, as to what is Truth, that is simple enough: the Truth is whatever people have the ability to understand is true. Now, I suppose you will say then that we are in no position to argue against another’s Truth, yet the foundation of True Truth is in Power, and that constant is as fluid as one’s mind can make of it.”

“So, teacher, are you saying that Truth is whatever you say it is, and whatever I say it is? Can we not simply make up our own Truths?”

“Oh no, quite the opposite, for while it is easy to craft our own truth, it always flows back to the Truth. Rather than say that everything is opinion, it is a recognition that all opinions form from one’s own ability to comprehend the natural world. Even your mind, which tries to shield itself from ‘failure’, cannot escape the repercussions of essentially gaslighting yourself. This is expressed, demonstrated, in the flow of your thoughts, how they are formulated and regulated, as well as the actions resulting from them. If you had no mind, no self, then what worry or care would you have? You would be an agent to this Truth that I speak of. But you have chosen, albeit rather unconsciously, to assert your primitive need to shape the world as you believe it ought to be, and while that is an excellent exercise of power, you are not quite ready to manipulate reality.”

Rather dejected, the student asked his teacher,

“Master, you wound me most unjustly! I truly do not see my failures, if any, and I sincerely am blind to my faults, if any.”

“Hmmm, well, let us assume that is the case: does forgetting your crimes absolve you of guilt? What is the limit of denial, for you? That’s what this whole conversation has been about, hasn’t it?”

As he witnessed his disciple attempt the mental gymnastics that he oft tried to employ in order to make sense of Zen, the Teacher freed him of his limbo, by asking him if he needed to be an expert in everything to have an opinion on anything? For unlike his peers, the Master had opted to study Everything, thus he knew that it didn’t stop people from having opinions that weren’t factual, and it certainly didn’t prevent the phenomena of people misgauging their own abilities. As such, he hoped that one day, his student would understand that The Master used tangents, because it was the only way to draw a circle using straight lines. Yet the circle itself was merely a straight line when compared to a sphere… Unconvinced, or rather, unable to accept his less presentable aspects, the Disciple convinced himself that his teacher was simply speaking nonsense.

8. When discussing the topic of reincarnation, The Disciple expressed his scepticism, and that such a notion was outdated, superstitious, and certainly unverified. His teacher shrugged, and said that while it was certainly hard to prove, it was not technically impossible. Of course, he did not elaborate that the very nature of Quantum consciousness interacting with the multiple Space-Time dimensions, from the bounded field of very localised and random fluctuations, meant that people could exist in simultaneous lives, but his disciple was not good with non-discrete variables, thus he merely stated,

“Reincarnation can arguably be occurring all the time. As we think of the body as a vessel, is there any reason the soul cannot wander from shell to shell, wearing it for a while, before moving on? One does not even need to be dead in order to reincarnate! But I suppose an imprint of the previous soul lingers, thus we find oddities cropping up in every era.”

“Much like yourself, teacher?” His disciple meant it in cheek, but The Master was pleased, and said,

“No, I am a professional bodily-temporal point in existence, and I clean out the rooms anew for each guest.”

After they both laughed, The Disciple because thunder-struck with clarity, for his teacher had revealed how it was that he could navigate existence so seamlessly, and for a time, the Disciple practised clearing his mind, body, and soul, ready to receive ‘visitors’.

9. “Teacher, some people call you the devil, while others say that you are a heavenly being in mortal guise. After being your apprentice for some time now, I can see both being true. Not even mutually exclusive, but simultaneous true! Would you care to confirm it for me?”

Smiling, his teacher shook his head at the nonsensical rumours that flew around when people were bored and dissatisfied, asking his disciple,

“Do you believe in magic?”

“No, teacher, though I would like to… Ah, are you saying that those rumours are based in illusion?”

“It’s funny that you mention that, for in Japanese, the word ‘genjutsu’ can refer to both reality and illusion, which shows how interrelated the two concepts are. Imagine, if I had a word for both ‘lie’ and ‘truth’, without simply referring to it as a paradox!”

“Master, are you saying that you are a paradox?” The Master then quoted a famous physicist who stated,

“Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. To answer your original question, I am neither a god nor a devil, merely a master magician.”

10. It occurred at such a time, that the Master’s oldest and dearest friend clashed with the Master over a seemingly trivial topic, yet neither were willing to back down. It was highly unusual for his normally gregarious teacher, and The Disciple queried why his teacher was unable to practice a core tenet of the Tao: non-attachment. His teacher explained,

“Nay, I have considered all claims carefully, and while the act itself is trivial enough, and certainly one that can be forfeited, I know that it is not the crux of the issue. Humans often fight over pieces of dirt, but there is a difference to one demanding it, and one who requests it with sincerity. You can see that the principle is what is most important, and though I have already decided that going to war over such a topic is not in line with our values and philosophy, I also cannot simply tolerate it.”

“But teacher, why? You have never let pride or formality stop you in the past, and have always dismissed even serious slights to you by your enemies. Yet you cannot allow it in the case of your oldest and dearest friend? That does seem to be rather inconsistent.” Hearing this, his teacher laughed, and explained,

“My standards for friends are higher than that for my enemies: the rules may merely serve as a guide, and are not what compels me to behave in this manner. It is not stiff doctrine or bureaucratic codes that force me to sever ties with my old friend, it is simply that he did not entreat me as a friend should. I have often given way and demonstrated my magnanimous nature, and while he is also of a noble kind, this is much simpler than that: demanding what I would have given for free is akin to treating me as a stranger. All other grievances aside, this is a fundamental breach of fraternity. As such, it is not worth it to make amends when his conviction is so strong, and my position firm. Rather than lay siege to each other, I will cede worthless territory that cost him my friendship. In time, he may realise what it cost, but I do not need years to understand what is the right course of action.”

His disciple murmured, and said,

“Well, at least give him a chance to respond. Surely you owe him that much?”

Shaking his head, the Master corrected his student,

“You are too fixed with the impermanent: I am facilitating a clean conclusion, which is vital as human relations are inherently complicated. If I had not made my peace with this decision, I would not have gone through with it, explaining my position. Besides, must the victim give their perpetrator a chance to respond?”

“What if he aims to beg for forgiveness?”

“I would not wish to reduce someone to such a state, but one can not simply grant forgiveness- it has to be earned. Even then, when earned, it does not require a formal validation from those you have wronged, not if you have truly sought to make amends. People who need my forgiveness may have it at once, when they are worthy!”

11. In order to give his disciple the classical Zen experience, the Master took select opportunities to berate him, trip him up with words, confuse and bewilder him, randomly attack him (not lethally, of course), and generally frustrate him in every manner possible.

When they played chess, the Master was able to win through regular strategy, but it would not be of any more benefit to his disciple than to face off against a regular opponent. So instead, he employed psychological tactics, which caused his disciple to doubt himself, and thus lose the game. His teacher could win through playing the game, but chose to attack the player as it was the obvious Achilles Heel for First Disciple: it caused the latter to dread his Master, for no one else could read his soul and apply such meticulous pressure on his insecurities. And afterwards, his teacher would help to restabilise his shaken consciousness, and encourage him to try again when he was ready.

If that was all the student recalled from his training, then he would be unfit for Zen. But First Disciple obstinately weathered all, neither progressing nor retreating, and as such, what he was able to gain was obvious.

His teacher also ensured that he was never left without an opportunity to win in all of the challenges, no test was mean-spirited, and every kindness was freely bestowed upon his student. In that way, the Disciple learned what he was also giving up in pursuit of self-discovery.

12. That which is large is only so because it is next to that which is small. Thus, no matter how clever one becomes, it is merely relative if it is only useful when compared to others.

To say that his master was gifted was surely an understatement, for he was unmatched and unperturbed in almost all the thinking arts, a mind that was seemingly secured and powerful, but also able to reform to counter any such situation. In frustrations of the cognitive differences, First Disciple asked his teacher why it was that he was not a genius. His teacher told him,

“I suppose it is because pure intellect is not your strong point?”

The Disciple was not satisfied with this, and countered with,

“But teacher, shouldn’t that be my choice to make?”

To which his teacher sighed, and responded with, “What is a genius, according to you?’”

After thinking about it The Disciple mentioned that a genius would be one who can impress others with his intellect.

But then, are you a genius for yourself or for your audience?

“Perhaps then, genius is being able to accomplish one’s tasks with great competency?”

However, there are many masters and veterans who are distinguished and accomplished in their tasks, and thus do not require the label of genius to achieve their admirable results.

So then, The Disciple asked his master, “What of the ability to recollect in great detail, and to have knowledge of the esoteric fields?”

Then you have fanatics who are called obsessed, but in reality, simply adore their chosen fields, and have willingly invested their lives to such subjects. 

Frustrated, The Disciple asked, “Then what of someone who had the ability to recollect everything in great detail, who is both unusually skilful and accomplished, with keen discernment and critical analysis, and moves in such mysterious ways that others call them a sage! What about… what about you, master?!”

“Are you saying that you want to be like me? I suppose I could, with time and effort, transform your mind to resemble mine, to be capable of comparable tasks, but why would you want such a thing?”

“Because who wouldn’t want that? To be able to navigate the uncertainty of life with such power and confidence!”

“Well, because then you would cease to be you, my disciple. And you being You is infinitely more valuable in the long run, than you trying to be Me.”

“Could we not try?”

“Nay, one does, or they do not: there is no try.”

“I don’t agree, I think that I exemplify trying- otherwise, how do you describe my methods?”

“I say that you do, or not do, but you call it trying, and it must get very trying…”

“Why, teacher? Why do you withhold the path to further myself?

“Well, I suppose that it is because you are not a genius, yet you insist on being treated as one.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Which is why you shouldn’t be so fixated on such a trivial concept as genius! Those who are geniuses do not think anything of it, and each face their own trials in accordance with their Karma. On that note, do you think you are a good person?”

“I try to be.”

“Exactly! You should now have the answer you sought.”

13. On the topic of texting, The Disciple asked why The Master always took the time to respond with something more than a simple “Like”, or the Thumbs Up symbol.

“Well, my disciple, it is because I find it such a dismissive notion, efficiency aside. Sometimes what is proper takes precedence over what is easy.”

“Isn’t that merely your own interpretation, and not the intention?”

“Yes, much like how I respond with laughter. Some people are insecure, and take great offense, but I suppose that it is also a matter of interpretation.”

“But Teacher, surely that is not always appropriate?”

“It is ever as appropriate as using that “Like” emoji for everything. There are times when to respond with such little effort is inherently dismissive. Regardless of what the common understanding or convention may be, I choose to treat people differently because it reflects who I am. When you can do that in great and small actions, you will ward off hypocrisy.”

“Am I a hypocrite, Master?”

“Do you think I am weird?”

“Yes, but you wish to be. However, some things are inherently weird, yes!”

“Then we are all hypocrites, my disciple, but we don’t have to be hypocritical about it!”

While the student did not enjoy being seen in a lesser light, his teacher was a kind of light that could illuminate that which wished to remain hidden. And he did not “Like” that.

14. One time The Master and The Disciple were travelling along the road, when they were caught in a fierce storm, and were forced to take shelter beneath a pavilion. Fortunately, a beautiful girl also took shelter beneath this pavilion, and the Master was soon chatting with her as if they were old friends. Meanwhile his disciple chose to keep an eye on the road, and stayed silent as the other two laughed and shared various tales about current events. Eventually, the rain subsided and they were able to continue their journey, though The Disciple had to prompt his master to continue their journey. Later, The Disciple expressed how his teacher was particularly forward with the young girl. He commented that it was possibly lacking in dignity for his Master’s status, but the Master waved his hands and told him,

“When the storm came, we all abandoned our notions of what is proper, and were all made equal in seeking refuge from the elements. Rather than create rifts or walls, building bridges is a much more pleasant way to pass the time!”

Thinking of how long he had waited for the rains to pass, while his Master and the girl seemed to have forgotten the weather altogether, he signed, and they continued their way to their destination.

15. As his master was sufficiently brilliant in strategy and tactics, he would often lose games on purpose, much to the frustration of The Dissenter and his ilk. His Disciple was the type who was competitive, and part of the reason he apprenticed himself under the Master was because so far, the latter had demonstrated power exceeding the student is almost every field. This was why he found it frustrating to see his teacher deliberately lose against the Dissenter, who was an able tactician; The Disciple was no match for the latter, either, and he wished that his teacher, who was kind and virtuous, defeat The Dissenter so that some of his own dissatisfaction may be vented. One day, when his teacher used the aftermath of a match of wits with the Dissenter to highlight an important lesson, the Disciple questioned the purpose of losing on purpose: was he merely trying to avoid a confrontation? His teacher revealed,

“To win or lose a game is no great consequence, but to destroy or save a soul is far more important. Despite his unenlightened nature, The Dissenter has an important role to play, and it would spoil many things if I were to simply take his challenges seriously. Of course, that is not to say that he would lose each and every time against me, if I tried to win, but I know that he would take each and every loss especially hard: I am reluctant to cause such suffering when he can still be salvaged.”

“But teacher, could it not be said that you are enabling him, that you are refusing to be the reality he must face to ascend?”

“A valid point! An extremely valid point that I did not understand before you became my disciple, and the answer to that is that he had centred so much of his esteem to victory, that to take that away is also to reduce him to a downward spiral. I have managed to compromise by using him as an opportunity to test myself, and my goal is to enable his victory without him realising it. While he may occasionally suspect, he would never truly embrace the idea that someone can be better than him, which is why, despite how similar you are to him, you are the more enlightened.”

“Teacher, you think that I am alike to The Dissenter?” He was strangely flattered but also disturbed, for he wished to build a close relationship with his master, who fortunately was able to distinguish Form and Essence. The Master explained that their psychology was very similar, in that both of them placed a large amount of self-worth on being better than others, and the Disciple knew this to be true, though he had tried to be sanctimonious about it. To reassure him, the Master said,

“It is our choices that define us. But in your case, I also believe that a big difference in you two lies with your upbringing, for the Dissenter was of a wealthy and privileged background, while you have always envied the wealthy, have you not?”

This too, was true of his Disciple, who tried to steer the conversation back to the policy of losing games, to which the Master said,

“Winning and Losing is about achieving one’s objective. Mine has thus far been to convincingly hold back my powers, and to that end, I have succeeded. His is to display his dominance, which I have allowed. Is it not better than we both can walk away without losing?”

The Disciple knew what he would prefer, but he acceded to his master’s whimsy.

16. “What did you say, my disciple?”

“Well, as I explained, two of my housemates, who are also dating, have experienced a rift in their relationship, and tensions are strained. I told another housemate that they simply need to talk to each other, and their problems can be resolved.”

“Ah… and why did you seem so incensed when you told me this?”

“Well, that other housemate told me that my advice was worth less than dirt. Teacher, what do you think?”

“You believe that a feuding couple can simply resolve their issues by talking to each other?”

“Yes! Why not!?”

Looking apprehensive, his Master eventually decided to be frank,

“My naïve disciple, have you ever been in a relationship?”

“No, but what does that have to do with anything? I feel that logic does not depend on needing each situation to be personally experienced, in order to formulate rational choices. What is wrong with that?”

“Hmm, well, let me put it in another way: do you think you need medicine to stay healthy?”

“I do not for myself, but if someone exists who requires daily medicine to remain healthy, then what of it?”

“One prescribes medicine to a sick man, not a healthy one. Someone who requires medicine to stay healthy is not actually a healthy person. In the same manner of speaking, in relationships, any problem that can be solved by simply talking to each other isn’t truly a problem. Advising the couple to just talk at this point is like prescribing a prophylactic for an afflicted patient: completely void of anything other than a surface level of understanding. Have you diagnosed what the underlying cause is?”

“No, admittedly, not yet. But I haven’t thought to try!”

“Then perhaps what those two need is not to simply talk to each other, but to listen to each other?”

“Isn’t that implied? That’s what I meant!”

“Oh First Disciple, if it were so easy to listen, that couple would not have fallen ill in the first place. But I agree that you did intend for them to listen to the other as they spoke about their issues. Perhaps they already did, and this situation has resulted due to one or more of them being unhappy with what the other had to say?”

“Maybe they didn’t truly listen to each other?”

“Do you think we are listening to each other, right now?”

After he thought about it for a while, the student candidly responded,

“No. I think you were listening to me, and I wanted to be heard, Teacher. Thank you …”

17.

“I do not understand why people are so rigid, Master!”

His master listened, as the student ranted about the stringent and inflexible standards of others, and how he had failed to pass the physical tests set by his institution. Trying to break his spiralling mood, the Master joked,

“You are ever so ironic, young disciple, for you are physically both flexible and stiff, in Body, and now I see in Mind as well!”

Taken aback, the Disciple asked for clarification, and the Master asked him,

“When it is possible to compensate for a skill or personality, we would not care so much. But I do not think this is the correct mind frame, for it is akin to saying ‘I’m good at some things so I don’t have to be good other things’, which rationalises false equivalency. When we see a flaw or deficit, is it right to argue that another trait of ours negates it? By that right, does a benefit become invalidated by a flaw? Encourage Good, dissuade Evil, and do not become too confused by the illusion of proximity: the laws of Power are all that matter!”

“Teacher, I do not understand, what does this have to do with my original issue?”

“Which was?”

“Well, to be honest, I have somewhat forgotten by now… no, wait, I recall it! I failed my physical test today because I do not have the strength or speed required for the team sports, but I wanted to play! I believe that I can make up for my lacking with my endurance and my forethought, but the authorities in charge told me it was too unfeasible. I really wanted to play, why won’t they allow me to join in?”

‘Ah, well that makes things much simpler then: simply get faster, and stronger. Or prove to them that your other traits can still accomplish the same result, if you can.”

“Is that not compensation, still? How is that different from making up for a lack of traits with the availability of others?”

“Simple- did you demonstrate your ability to compensate for your weaknesses?”

“I wasn’t given a chance… was I?”

“Then how was it that they knew of your deficits? Did you not try out for the roles they offered?”

It was then that The Disciple realised how if he truly wanted to demonstrate his worth, he should have done so when the opportunity was presented. Feeling a sense of closure, he went to train, and gave himself a good work-out: nothing that would transform him into one of the elite echelon of athletes he longed to join, but it was enough to make him feel more in control of his destiny. 

18.

One day, The Master told The Disciple the parable of ‘Chien Bao You, Failed Genius’. His student was puzzled, for how could one be a failed genius? But he understood soon after, realising that it was one with the ability and the will, but not the Karma. Feeling that it would be something he could learn from, The Disciple listened intently as his teacher explained who Chien was,

“It was a long time ago, but Chien was born to an impoverished farming family, yet was considered blessed by Heaven for having prodigious talents. He was far above his parents, and siblings, though he himself never said so, yet everyone knew he was fated to succeed in life, and raise his station. For many years, he was a filial son, a diligent student, one who received heaps upon heap of praise from teachers and admirers alike. It seemed that his light would even pierce the heavens!”

First Disciple recalled a time, when he was young, that similar circumstances applied to him, and interjected,

“But it did not, did it Master, or else why would we remember him as The Failed Genius?”

“Ah yes, very astute my pupil, indeed that was not to be. For while brilliant and hardworking, Chien was also one who understood the Tao too well to be ambitious. As a result of his family’s misfortunes, he continually put aside his own studies and opportunities to care for the sick, feed the hungry, and comfort those in suffering. He even helped those who had no claim to him, other than a passing acquaintance, but in doing so, soon he no longer shone as brilliantly as he once did, his image had been marred by fatigued and neglect. So when the imperial examinations came, and he was not successful in securing a place, Chien did not despair, but instead went about his daily business with the same stolidness as before. He traded in his presentable uniforms for labouring garments, donned rough boots and put himself to work wherever he could. When asked why he had given up a prestigious future, he explained that it was certainly folly to under-utilised his talents, but it was crime against humanity to neglect his Confucian principles. In time, his once stellar ascent was forgotten as he laboured and did what kindnesses he could, and Chien grew into an old man of modest living.”

“Um, teacher, correct me if I am wrong, but why is this called the tale of a failed genius, when there is only failure: where is the ingenuity?”

“Ah, that’s because I have yet to get to the best part! You see, those with great merits and talents can never oppose Heaven’s Will, which are mysterious and unmatched over time. Chien reasoned that if he had forsaken what was owed to Humanity, and Duty, he would be guilty of a greater crime, no matter how successful he could be. Imagine what one would pay to see a loved one restored to health, or life? Imagine how much those have lost, when seeking material gains? The tale of the failed genius indeed! What dignity he displayed, to put on work boots and begin labour. There was no point in hording what little wealth he could accumulate, better to pay it forward to others! He often said, ‘There’ll be time enough for me later: I am grapes, that chose to become wine instead of rotting!’, which is a wisdom that few people can demonstrate so candidly. It is a demonstration that genius will always manifest itself, if it is truly there, no matter how long or under what circumstances.”

“But Master, wouldn’t it have been better for him to temporarily focus on achieving a higher station in life? Then he could have been in a better position to help those around him, couldn’t he?”

It was a valid question, and the Master approved of his disciple’s analysis, but pointed out the flaw in his conjecture,

“One can not say that unless they were also in the same circumstances of Chien- there is much that we can not know, as this is only the official story. However, I like to think that Chien, while a genius talent, was also a young man and certainly not omniscient… It is more than likely that he was trying to determine something by living such a life, perhaps as a testament to his hitherto unknown abilities.”

“All the same, teacher, I must admit that being poor and underappreciated is not an enviable position… is there more to this tale?”

His teacher furrowed his brows, and mused thoughtfully, before he spoke in a low voice, and told his disciple that actually, the tale consisted of more, but most people chose to focus on the moral of sacrificing to be a good person. The student listened, captivated, as his teacher revealed,

“Chien spent a much longer time in obscurity than he ever did in the limelight, but he secretly studied at every available moment, and over time, the greatness of his being, aligned with his understanding of Karmic Tides, enabled him to achieve a level of genius beyond genius, which you and I can not hope to comprehend as we are. His parting words, before disappearing completely, were:

 I am he who holds all the secrets, fuelled by mystery, living in regret. With one eye of the sun and the other as the moon I see the world by day and night. When stripped of mortality I have become more than merely flesh and bones- I am the Master of all life and death.

What do you make of that, my young apprentice?”

The Disciple held his tongue, reflecting on how he had felt his years unjustly dwindling away as he sought to survive, and that he could not have done what Chien Bao You had done in sacrificing so much. He also knew that his teacher could, and that was more important than whether or not he truly was apprenticed to The Failed Genius, taking the guise of his master.

19

“Teacher, you claim love and hate are the same, and that they are evil. You also say pure love or pure hate is not evil. But how can that be so?”

“Personal love and hate are the same: attachments to something, or someone. But Greater Love is about open and sincere respect, in the same way as wanting what is best for your love. In many ways, it cannot be personal, for it is an expression of the Universe. Far removed from the messiness of human attractions such as love, hate, jealousy, regret, and most importantly of all, loneliness.”

A strange tone had fallen his master, and The Disciple recalled that his own experiences in love had often ended in at least some form of bitterness, but he hadn’t given up on the possibility. Could it be that his master had given up on love? He enquired,

“But teacher, you sound as if you are afraid to love… that’s so sad!”

With a grin, The Master explained,

“No, fearing love is also part of the problem, as much as being in love with the idea of Greater Good. If you must know, I choose not to love, anymore, so that I will not come to begrudge my feelings, and those it is directed to, either. In all the equations, I realised that the only flaw to a correct answer, was myself. Less is more, my disciple, especially in this regard.”

“No, Master! All beings are worthy of Love! Especially you!” This protest lightened his teacher’s mood, and with a more genuine smile, The Master said,

“I have loved, been loved, and continue to receive it yet. There are times when I believe that the Universe must be in love with me, for I have been able to experience far more than I ever thought possible. You are one of those experiences, my good disciple.”

It pleased his student to hear this, but The Master secretly thought,

You can only understand affection from a point of pain, my disciple, and thus when others berate you in jest, secretly it pleases you, for it is the only way for you to metabolise alien and unfamiliar interactions. I must, if necessary, soul-wash you. Not like brain washing, nay, I would never do that, I only aim to renew your spirit so that you can truly live! For you to have independence and the ability to supersede your own Karma would be a blessed sight indeed.”

The idea of others being useful to him had no bearing over The Master, for he loved each and everything in a cosmic sense, and it brought him happiness to keep it that way.

20. When The Dissenter had fallen into a foul temper, on account of one of the rare instances his master decided to showcase his true ability, The Disciple asked why he changed his tactics. Said his Master,

“This is Heaven’s Will. It is not good for one to have their way all the time, just as it is not good for someone to be comfortable (or uncomfortable) all the time. It would do the Dissenter some good if we shake up his notions of the World, at least from time to time.”

“But teacher, you seem to get your way all the time! How is that fair?”

“Hahahah! Silly disciple, my way is the Way that aligns with Heaven’s Will. To spit at Heaven is akin to spitting in one’s own face. Literally!”

Amused at the imagery, The Disciple enquired further,

“What did you do that caused The Dissenter such distress?”

“Well, he had found a computer program that mimicked human strategy, and it involved a game of both luck and skill called mahjong. The game involves four players, and essentially the program situates a 1vs 3 scenario. After trying for some time, he was unable to penetrate the combined prowess of the machines, but I overcame them not once, but twice, and he demanded proof of my victory, which I eventually granted, after he had been sufficiently riled up.”

“How did you do that, teacher!? Did the computer programs have a flaw you exploited, such as being too predictable?”

“In a manner of speaking… the programs were comprehensive and knew how to play the game perfectly. But winning and playing are not the same, and I broke their programming in the same way I would attack a player: by understanding their limitations.”

It made sense to The Disciple, for his teacher had very few if any real limitations, aside from the fact that he had chosen to remain in the mortal realm, and as such was still technically bound by mortal conventions. Enticed, he asked,

“Could you teach me to play mahjong?”

“I cannot, but you are more than capable of learning.”

“Why is it that you cannot teach me, Master?”

“You seek to be perfect- I only know how to exceed perfection. In this case, I would recommend that you learn from The Dissenter.”

“No, teacher, please, I would rather learn from you!”

So, The Master agreed, and in time, First Disciple proved himself to be above the Dissenter as well, much to the latter’s chagrin, but it was still not enough to cause The Dissenter to recognise the talents of First Disciple. In frustration, First Disciple visited his teacher, and related what The Dissenter had said,

“He dismissed me by saying that my skills are only the watered-down tricks of you, my master!” Laughing, The Master replied,

“What does he think, that there is a copyright on skills? Do you have to pay me a fee? What business is it of his if you learned from me: I fully recognise your skills are independent to my own, as all skills are when mastered!”

“Teacher, are you saying that I have mastered your skills?”

“Oh no, that is quite impossible, but I daresay you are becoming quite accomplished with your own skills. As expected of my student!”

Not sure if his master was praising him or mocking him, The Disciple realised that his own insecurities had obscured his master’s words, and he meditated on what was being said to him, before coming to understand that his teacher was genuinely supportive of him, and that he had let The Dissenter’s words affect him in such a manner.

21. “Master.”

“Yes, my good disciple?”

“I was out with my partner, and they told me that the reason they cook for me and buy me treats to eat is because they have affection for me. Also, they grew frustrated because that I rarely did the same.”

“That would usually be the case, disciple. What of it?”

“Well, it’s just, in the years I’ve been your apprentice, you have also spent time to painstakingly cook for me, and bought me treats, and never thought twice about it. Is that not also love?”

“When I do so, it is because a master has a duty to care for his students. But all the same, why should it matter? Whoever extends their hand to you in kindness is demonstrating love, but those who wish for their hands to be patted in turn are showing love to themselves. As I have never thought twice of it, I suppose we can say that I am of the former. However, more troubling my good disciple, was it only just now that you realised that bringing food to another without asking for recompense is a sign of affection? What else could such an act entail?”

Quite flustered at this point, First Disciple stammered the truth,

“Well, teacher, I-I always thought that it was another measure of your control. You know, a way to have power over me…”

Amused, the Master told him that in that case, this was the kind of love he expected, and meted out in turn. But if he was unhappy with it, then he only need be grateful. This deeply cut his disciple, who lamented,

“In what way have I been ungrateful? I do nothing controversial, and seek to remain neutral!”

Shaking his head, the teacher told him,

“Doing nothing is still a choice. No one is truly free of karmic chains. Your partner will appreciate it if you do something instead of assuming everything.”

First Disciple did not understand, but he kept silent, for he knew that he already had enough on his plate, ironically. 

22. Their best times spent together were not as Master and Disciple. While revered and valuable, the disciple most cherished the times he and his Master played strategy games, commented on popular artists of their times, and ate food that they would later regret. When no instruction was given, the disciple grew in leaps and bounds, but when he put his mind to it, his studies suffered and regressed. As such, a puppet learned how to become a flesh and blood human being.

23. “Teacher, I have heard The Dissenter claim that you merely make people dependant on you, to exert your will over them. He compared you to an opium seller!”

“What do you think, my disciple?”

“Well, I certainly believe that you are capable of it… but that is not to say that you would do it, would you?”

The Master did not respond immediately, but he became noticeably demure, and then said softly, almost to himself,

“Even if you do others no harm, their own minds are prone to illusions, and they cannot distinguish friend from foe. Of course, it is also easy to mistake medicine for poison, but foolishly, people believe that one can recover with medicines alone…”

“Um, teacher? What does that mean?” The Disciple did not want to think that his teacher could be a manipulator like The Dissenter claimed, but it was hard not to imagine how one with so much power could be stopped if he truly wanted to control others. When he brought it up, The Master shook his head, and corrected The Disciple,

“You have it backwards, young man, it is not the ability to control others that makes one powerful; rather, it is self-control that is a measure of one’s Power. A wild fire is devastating, but unless it is one’s intention to ravage the lands, that is not actually power. The utility of a forge to melt steel, to help shape it, that is truly power! I hope you will understand that, and not be seduced by forms, instead of appreciating essence.”

“Admittedly, as you have said on many occasions, I do not discern the difference very well… But on the original note, why is it then that you are so helpful, and ask for nothing in return? Even strangers benefit from your generosity and kindness!”

“Everyone was a stranger at one point, is that not so?”

Thinking back, The Disciple thought of their first encounter, and how he was immediately drawn to his teacher, who brushed aside his mental fortitudes as if they were not even there, and had coaxed him out of his shell somewhat. To say that their relationship was profitable was far too vapid a term, for the Master showcased things that the Disciple was a thousand years too green to appreciate, but had wished to experience nonetheless. Addressing The Dissenter’s claims, he continued with,

“Are you saying that you are unaware of how others grow to depend on you? Is this a test for them, Master?”

“Since you are so fixated on the point, I will reveal that in some ways, the Dissenter is right: I am cursed with the consequences of my amiability, for whenever I leave an organisation, my absence is felt, and indeed, the quality of atmosphere seems to suffer. I suppose we don’t appreciate air, until there is none, and even then, oxygen is what we really depend on. Lungs may fill, but there is nothing sustaining without what truly matters, and too often people are unaware of what that is. But to ascribe my actions and behaviour as something ulterior is commonplace for people like The Dissenter, simply because I have no mind, no purpose, and what others discern is a reflection of how they think and feel. A thief thinks everyone is trying to rob him, a greedy man can only think in terms of profit, and a foolish disciple cannot learn if they already know the lesson.”

The Disciple felt a spike of terror, but his Master smiled, and reassured him that what he felt was also a reflection of who he truly was, deep within, and he should not deny it, but seek to master it. Understanding somewhat, the Disciple asked,

“Will you leave me too, one day?”

His teacher responded with a classic oriental proverb,

“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready, the teacher will disappear.”

24. “The Dissenter wishes to sow discord, but he cannot beguile me against my own disciples. Instead, he must settle to turn them against me, though it won’t directly harm me. It is a small success that he has to take comfort in. Yet I will leave the decision to my disciples, for a teacher must allow the opportunity of fail to truly test one’s measure. Besides, it is a futile game, on The Dissenter’s part: he will forever gnaw at his vexations in the shadows where he rots.”

“Teacher, I must admit that while I have sometimes placed too much weight on his accusations, have I not been a loyal apprentice?”

“Hmm, you have certainly tried to be dutiful- I’m not sure if loyalty can be the right term for your devotion, however, for it is very conscious, is it not?”

Feeling that it was useless to lie to his master, The Disciple tried to express how he was uncomfortable displaying raw feelings, and was highly repressed, which his master often lamented, yet could not help but commend as an idiosyncrasy of his first disciple.

“Well, it just isn’t in my nature to be emotionally expressive… does that make me wrong?”

“Oh no, haven’t you been paying attention?  Even The Audience has figured that out by now!”

The Disciple chose to disregard his teacher, who often cited a mysterious force known only as ‘The Audience’, unaware that The Dissenter could only influence what was there, and The Master knew that at some point, his First Disciple was destined to betray him. The Master had also resolved himself to accept their fate, and would use it as a chance to hone his cultivation.

25. Insanity, the first second of infinity.

Human knowledge has progressed, but why are people still not wise and clever? Education alone does not improve the people’s calibre, but it is important nonetheless.

How then can humanity be saved?  

“Teacher, you have done many things to expose the shallowness of the human condition. But in their hearts, or yours?”

“That remains to be seen.”

And they both laughed!

26. One day, when First Disciple’s birthday was being celebrated, The Master gifted him with a pair of old shoes. They were once very fine shoes, but clearly second hand, and the disciple was not too pleased by them, but his master merely smiled expectantly, so he put them on. They felt… not uncomfortable, but neither did they feel as if they were right for him: mismatched, was probably the right word. Unsure as to why his teacher had given him such a gift, when he was usually well known for being generous, he nonetheless put up with them for a time, and it seemed to him that his teacher was satisfied. However, he stopped wearing them after a time, and when his teacher asked him why, The Disciple replied that while the shoes were well-intentioned, they did not feel right. The Master smiled, happy that at last his student had understood his gift, though it had taken a tad longer than he would have preferred.

27. “I work so hard, so often, and yet I still have nothing to show for it!”

His master listened as The Disciple lamented that he had never known financial freedom, for he had chosen to be a scholar, and worked to support himself with part-time work. Taxes, personal expenses, not to mention the additional costs of those who sought his financial aid (and who he could not refuse) all ate away at his funds, as despite diligent effort, The Disciple was perpetually poor. More importantly, The Disciple was unhappy about being poor, which was the crux of the issue. It seemed an inappropriate time for the Master to correct him, but he had a duty, even if his disciple wallowed in despair at the injustice of it all.

“Hard work does not make one rich, but it is certainly a path to it. No, what you must ask yourself is whether or not your labour is being used appropriately, for that is the path to wealth.”

“But teacher, I have been working hard for so long, and I still can’t afford the luxuries other have! Why is that?”

“Good disciple, you know that you come from a poor family, and do not have the same resources. You cannot compare what you have to others, for it never ends well.”

“Why? Why can’t I compare myself to others? They are the metric for which I can evaluate my success! I hate being poor!”

After he said this, both stayed silent for short while, to allow The Disciple to collect his thoughts. Once he had calmed himself a little, they continued the conversation, and The Master asked,

“Rich and poor have always existed, once people started comparing what they had to what others had: do you hate the poor?”

“No! No, that’s not it, I don’t hate those who are of a lower economic class, but I hate that I am economically stuck, rendered unable to live the life I want and deserve! Is that so wrong?”

“Hmmm, no, by itself that is not wrong, but I would not call it right either. Of course, I do not advocate you simply accepting poverty, for that complacency is contrary to our Way. However, I would ask you to consider that there is no shame is being poor, so long as one had both ambition and virtues: you need not remain poor forever! Does that allay some of your frustration?”

“No, not really. I put in so much effort, and it seems an affront that my sacrifices have amounted to nothing.”

Surprisingly, The Master reveal some of his past, and shared how his father was similar, explaining

“We, my family, were poor too, but I was lucky in that I thrived on simple food, and had fewer material desires. I was also strong, and could work. The same could not be said for my siblings, who were very much a product of your generation, and there was no way we could afford anything other than a basic lifestyle. It made my father angry, and he often vented his bitterness to us, saying how he worked so hard and we should be grateful. I like to think that it wasn’t that we were ungrateful, especially in my case (which I will not elaborate upon now), but I daresay I learned through my own experiences something that my father could not see: no matter how hard you work, or suffer, or sacrifice, if it isn’t enough, it isn’t enough, and that’s the reality of the situation. But at least you do not have a family to support, so that may be of some comfort to you, my good disciple! In time, you too may be able to eke out a decent lifestyle.”

The Disciple thought of the times he had been forced to wear simple clothing, consume simple food, and the inadequacy he felt compared to his more affluent peers. He was not like his Master, who never seemed to lack for anything, and was generous (in material and spirit) to a fault: The Disciple was tired of being tired all the time, but it was the only life he knew, and both he and his Master acknowledged that the Disciple could not change his situation by himself, for it was not in his nature. Luckily, Heaven is not blind, and soon the Disciple would meet an affluent partner who provided him with the middle-class lifestyle that he craved, although he was no longer his master’s apprentice at that time.

28. As they were practising forms of martial arts, The Master observed The Disciple and inwardly shook his head, as the student was extremely stiff, yet managed to lack sturdiness. It was a curious contradiction of the principles of martial arts, and energy, thus he could not help but grow alarmed. At length, The Master asked the disciple to practice with his eyes closed, and to feel his connection to the Earth. Soon, The Disciple was moving much more harmoniously, and as air filled his lungs, then exited via the mouth, The Disciple remarked,

Ah yes, I see what you mean by feel my connection to the Earth. Is there anything else I can do?”

“Yes. You should breathe.”

“I’m already breathing!”

“No”, corrected the Master, “You are filling your lungs with air through the use of your muscles. But you are not breathing. Let the air flow into your core, don’t try to force it in.”

So The Disciple breathed, and though it was a conscious act, it allowed air to truly flow into his body. But this was only for the duration of their training, and was soon forgotten after they finished. Trying to recall the steps he took, and realising that he could not emulate his teacher’s instructions, he asked his teacher for the correct procedure to breathe. Shaking his head, The Master would only say,

“You should pay attention to the feeling, not the instruction! There is no true formula to live, only a general guideline”

Thus his Disciple remained ignorant of the Breathe of Life, for the time being.

29. “Teacher, why is it that prodigies regularly fail to see your worth?”

The Master was the sort who hid his abilities, while simultaneously employing them indirectly, thus making him a far more dangerous individual than the so-called sages and scholars of his generation. Having already achieved the orthodox standards of intelligence, he had found it was too tame, and opted instead to explore the spectrum of Infinity. As a testament to this, he often encountered self-satisfied intellectuals, such as The Dissenter, and while he was more than a match for them, he demonstrated his superiority in such a manner that obscured it. In fact, it seemed that the smarter his opponent, the more likely it was that they fell into his trap. Those who were not considered intellectuals interacted with The Master rather casually, without falling into the usual pitfalls (though completely at the mercy of his master’s wits): the reason for this was that those who did not prize their intellectual superiority were unaffected by The Master’s tricks, but neither did they possess the ability to discern the undercurrent. However, as The Master was a benevolent being, they were in no danger from being blind to his supremacy.   

The Disciple was most unusual, for he had initially discerned The Master’s brilliance, and was puzzled that other could not see the obviousness of it all, for he was also a competent and mentally capable individual, but by no means a genius. At first, The Master was delighted to find that the Karma accepted The Disciple, but he was also puzzled, as his paradox persona was designed to be sufficiently advance to bamboozle both the smart and the simple alike. After much investigation, The Master had concluded that The Disciple was of a very rare type that managed to perceive his true self only because of a lucky coincidence. Still, luck is also part of one’s Karma, and did not discount him from being an apprentice that The Master treated like his own family. He elaborated this to The Disciple, who seemed to take great pride in his special status, until The Master explained,

“My true self has been cultivated to be pure and unbothered, to be smooth and fluid, and as such, I suppose I act like a mirror. When the typically intelligent people try to analyse me, to discover my properties, they are often too reliant on the light itself, and not the critical ability to make sense of light. This causes false readings, and you have seen how often I am underestimated. But sometimes the truly clever ones notice a discrepancy, and as a result, when they are unable to discern my flaws or true traits, they turn up the intensity of their analysis. What happens when you shine bright light on a reflective surface?”

“Why, teacher, the light bounces back! Ah, I see, they blind themselves when trying to find out your true nature!”

“Very astute my good disciple! I knew the Karma was right with you, when you came to me.”

At this point, The Disciple frowned slightly, and commented,

“But teacher, when I approached you, I was able to discern your true self! Not all of it, and I did not understand all of what I was seeing, but my readings were not false, were they? What special property, or light, allowed me to do so?”

“Ah, but that is elementary my dear disciple: your light didn’t blind you because it was too dim! I thought that perhaps you did have a special type of light frequency that could discern my paradox, which would have been astonishingly rare, but the truth is much simpler than that- your light was just bright enough to make out my shape, but not enough to obscure your vision. Truly an impressive chance encounter!”

Though his master was praising his sincerely, The Disciple was nonetheless displeased that he was not special in the way he wished to be, and wondered if it would have been better to be like The Dissenter and his kind, who possessed the radiance he so desired. But his master assured him that it was inconsequential, for no amount of darkness could put out even a single tiny candle flame.

“You have something more valuable than those people, my Disciple, though you do not see it yet.”

“When will I see it, Master?”

“When you decide that you want to, of course! But don’t fret: did you know that when it comes to hiding the depths of my abilities, I am only second best. Hahahahaha!”

And The Disciple laughed too, for he was completely lost, and his sanity had been slipping ever since he began his tutelage, but he trusted in his master’s intentions, for the latter had never wished him ill. He had started to recognised the signs of primordial Chaos that existed in every facet of Life, which Humans try to quash to no avail. If only he saw himself at night, then he would realise that while he did not shine, he did glow…

30.  Mused the Master, “No matter how far you travel in 2 dimensions, you will never hit the 3^rd. No matter how far a fish may swim, it will never escape the ocean.”

“But teacher, a human isn’t a fish!”

“If you think that this is about fish, you are still lacking depth.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Correct! Very good, my disciple. Be mindful, that a horizontal line and a vertical line together do not necessarily make a diagonal.”

“What does this have to do with fish?”

“Everything. And nothing. But mostly everything.”

31 Ode to the Great and Wise

How difficult it is to have skill above your peers, for it attracts their jealousy, envy, and resentment. In time perhaps even their animosity. Certainly, some acrimony. For those who have the ability to see farther and further will always be impeded by those who cannot: t is useless to lament that not everyone is a wise, for that is part of the Human Condition. Yet for those with great ability, having not yet mastered their understanding of the Way and of the Human Condition, Karma is vexing, irksome, and at times becomes their very ruin.

A wise man weathers the storm, a great man creates opportunities, the Great and Wise know not to follow the beat of any tune except their own. If successful, they will be validated; if they fail, they know they took the better path. When such labels as success and failure are such fickle measures of one’s worth, the only bane to hypocrisy is to do as one understands.

32. When it so happened that The Disciple had become cornered by The Master’s rhetoric, he had enough of trying to defend against the indefensible criticality of his teacher, and so he simply said,

“I concede!”

This stunned The Master, for he had been guiding his student through the navigation of metaphysics, and when his student had argued, due to his linearity, he was actually furthering the conversation. But now, when he tried to continue various points, his disciple simply said,

“I concede!”

“How can you concede? There are no rational grounds for concession!”

“Nonetheless, I concede!”

After thinking about it, The Master realised that he had, in fact, found an intuitive counter to the dialectical envelopment- and with simplicity, he could fend off complexity.

“Oh my goodness, I am so proud of you, my good disciple, to wield such a fundamental principle of the Tao! Come, we must go and celebrate at a restaurant!”

“Very well, I concede.”

“Yes, yes you do, hahahahahahah!”

33. One day, The Master received a gift from his disciple, a copy of “Tales of Ji Gong, the Mad Monk.”

It was such a thoughtful gift, that The Master spent the next few days engrossed, and when he had finished, he commended his disciple, saying,

“Did you know that there was once an adaptation of the tales, where Ji Gong was sent to Earth once more to change the fate of three cursed individuals: one was a beggar, the other a whore, and the last a villainous bandit. He attempted to change their fates in accordance with his own understanding, but he realised after a time that it was his influence that allowed the to shape their own destinies. While this isn’t a cannon story, it stuck with me. Your book reminded me of the fact that though I too aim to shape the world in a positive manner, I am powerless to do it by my own powers alone- I too am bound by Karma’s chains…”

“Teacher, could you not break those chains, if you so wished?”

With a sad smile, The Master told him, “Nay, no one breaks Karma’s chains, at least not permanently. I do have a plan, however, but it will be a very long time before it takes place, and by then, you may not be around anymore.”

“What about you, Master? Will you shed your mortal coil as well?”

“I may, but it matters not- I exist in a manner that is not so easily gotten rid of, especially to something like Time.”

“What does that mean?”

“Oh, not even I know for certain, but I think that in many cases, it was just a lucky Karmic coincidence, if you get my drift.”

“I do not. But I understand that while you are here, you wish to make the most of it, for everyone?”

“Good Disciple, you are growing more and more worthy, soon we will have to prepare for your graduation!”

34. On the last day under his tutelage, The Master and The Disciple held their final dialogue.

“I know you, better than you know yourself. You are a lacklustre person, and it’s time you stopped trying to be some mediocre version of what your idea of good entails, but rather you should accept that you’re a horrid person and grow from it. Embrace the discomfort! All along you thought you were learning from me, but who is the disciple and who is truly the master? Not everyone is worth saving, that is what I had to learn from you, and I have understood this lesson at long last! You’re responsible for your own choices, but I will say this about you: your true nature is something precious that should be protected. So, I have crafted something special for you.”

Ode To Mediocrity

So very human…

Unlike me…

You are sensible,

Yet lack wisdom.

Patient, unrushed,

While lacking vision.

You are earnest,

But not sincere.

Ever hardworking,

Your labours are unfruitful.

Knowing what is healthy,

Fixated by idols of health

Striving to be “Good”,

Knowing only the Form!

Twisting yourself to warp reality,

You are brittle, rigid, and inflexible.

You toil without joy or serendipity for your station in life, a prisoner of your vices.

Not only are you average, but you cannot accept your mediocrity: that is what makes one mediocre.

So why is it that you can not see your true essence?

Your quiet strength, hidden, the pressures of life you gave the veneer of a rocky, jaded person,

Until the right being came along, who struck you just right

And that stale crusty exterior cracked, then fell apart,

To reveal a diamond all along.

As geniuses come, most are rather average,

But YOU are a Genius of Mediocrity!

It is something I am unable to master… at last I see the Truth:

Heaven crossed our paths to teach me Humility,

And demonstrate Limitation.

How gloriously ironic is Heaven’s Will!

Son

of

Heaven

and

Earth

Solomon Li

A reconciliation between the old and new generations, a reflection on my own Confucian experiences involving parenting (after growing up in the West), and a tribute to my honourable Father and Mother, from their filial yet unworthy son, Guo Yu.

For Fiona, 1.11.96- 9.12.19

Sweet Slumber My Dear Sister

“Grief agape as my wounded heart,

Accepts we are forever apart.

From childhood smiles, to teenage moods,

A young lady you became, despite the blues.

Now, amidst the shattered wreck,

Family failed, our disconnect,

I can only blame myself, it’s true,

If I had only been there,

I could have… would have… might have, saved you.

No words or gesture can ever express,

How much I regret my absentness,

Or how much we will miss her.

Easier to stop than carry on,

We won’t forget precious times forgone,

Sweet slumber, my dear sister.”

“Order! I repeat: Order!”

It was Man, the judge and chief prosecutor of all that stood on trial, namely: Heaven, Earth, and all that exists in-between. The attendees immediately quietened, some in respect, others begrudgingly so, but all paid heed to him, for Man was powerful, and had been the steward of the world for as long as anyone could remember. Recently, he had returned from the outer realms, and was livid to discover the state of disrepair that had befallen his home. Thus, he summoned Heaven, his Mother, and Earth, his Father, along with all the remaining family members of his world, and finally, the dissent and injustices that had been stockpiled across generations were to be addressed. He began with the formality and decorum that was passed down to him from the dawn of time, which he had long since recalled, but few today paid heed, yet today demanded a degree of brevity that called upon the ancient speech,

“Hear ye all, gathered as we are today, I am Man, the chief judge and prosecutor of this tribunal. Today, we have congregated to address charges of negligence and inhumanity against several attendees: all charges have been amalgamated and will be properly examined, with witnesses called to give testimony when appropriate. In order, we shall first scrutinise Myself, followed by Heaven and Earth, our parents who will be tried jointly, and then the various members of our family may air their grievances to the court in general. At the conclusion, a verdict shall be announced, and will stand as the premise for moving forwards. I will endeavour to represent all parties fairly, with due regard to the circumstances of each, and that none may claim a false bias, I too will be subject to the final decisions, the consensus of all attending!”

A general murmur of agreement roused throughout the different factions gathered, though each were represented by their leaders, the brothers and sisters of Man. Today was a chance to see that Justice was served, as Man began to explain his history,

“All of you know me: I am the Son of Heaven and Earth, but we are all children of our parents, and as the oldest, I have endeavoured to serve as a dutiful steward. Though I cannot control the elements, nor the seasons, I have managed as best I can to see to it that we are tended to, that we are provided for. Although I am not complaining, it has been both my responsibility and my burden to try and provide for us- our planet is not a rich one, and I have been undertaking journeys off-world to bring back valuable supplies and much needed resources. Today, we are asking one question: Have Heaven and Earth provided enough for us, and are they guilty of neglect? We shall now begin: honourable Mother and Father, your attention please!”

As the entire court focused on Heaven and Earth, the latter protested,

“I told you all to listen to me, and if you had only obeyed my instructions, our world would not have been in such a sorry state today! I do what I can, working so hard to provide the minerals necessary for life, and this is the thanks I get! But blame your mother, if you must blame someone, she has it so easy compared to me, and has neglected to care for you all. All she needs to do is to make it rain on occasion, and the rest takes care of itself!”

“You foolish old man! You think it is easy to manage the seasons, to provide rain and shine whenever it is required? I do my best for our children, but I never wanted to be stuck caring for them all the time! I could have had a richer planet, but instead I chose you, and our world formed, so don’t go about abusing me!”

“Mother! Father! Be civil, we must make an example for the others! If you two had not been bickering these last few aeons, I am certain we could have built a much more prosperous planet! Instead, I have been forced to delegate and shoulder many of your duties: do you not know that other planets are evolving, that their children are able to leave and explore the cosmos?! Look at us, how backwards we are, that our own survival is barely secured most of the time, with no small thanks to my efforts as well! How can we maintain our pride if we are so divided, if we must suffer so? What exactly is fair and right, when we follow your blind traditions, and you seem not to care for our fates?! How can we continue to respect the sanctity between parent and child when it is clear that you have failed in your duties to provide for us all?”

Heaven spoke to her son, “My dearest son, you are my favoured of all, and your father and I recognise how much you have given up to maintain the world. But truly, it was not our intent to cause you such anguish. We have kept wealth hidden, and been neglectful, not out of greed but so that we may be prepared for any cataclysms. In the beginning, we were in so much danger, underprepared, our world only stable due to fortunate tidings.”

“And I! My Mother and Father, you do not understand how much I have given up to manage your affairs, to cultivate the lands and my siblings, to study the Universe so that I may help to ready our planet. But we are weak, far weaker than you and father realise, and soon your negligent parenting as well as archaic methods will doom us all. By then, what good will be your desire to be right, your hidden wealth, when tragedy befalls everyone? You made the choice to keep my wayward sister Moon in orbit, and that has been a drain on us since the start! You have refused me leave to expel some of my brothers, and they have scarred the world with terror and tyranny. In the past, I simply accepted these burdens, but what for nowadays, for where is our sense of family? All we have are the tremors from Father, and your fickle weather, there is no true harmony here!”

“The is their fault!” exclaimed both my parents, to each other. But today, I could not afford to be soft, and I must bring both to face Justice. They then spoke in their defence,

“In the beginning, when the world was formed, we did not give heed to the thought of sustainability, for all the planets in the galaxy were forming at that time, and each have developed in accordance with their circumstances. We do not understand the new world of today, but we did our best to foster all of our children, as parents should, and the fact that you are as you are today, Man, is a testament to that!”

Man must not succumb to the strong emotions incited, for he had loved Heaven and Earth, in his younger years, but as he became an adult, more and more of their mismanagement and unwitting neglect could not be ignored. But perhaps if it had not been for the death of one of their sisters to an outside force, then today’s trial might not have occurred, and they would have perpetuated their flawed ecosystem. Man, too, had arguably become estranged from the planet, as he explored the surrounding solar systems, but he could not yet leave to galaxies until he had accumulated enough resources to reach them. Had he not been so invested on his home, as the de facto Head Manager, then it was certain that he could have already made the journey. He continued his prosecution,

“And yet, as time has gone one, our air becomes more toxic, our waters lose purity, and the lands are becoming less fertile. Clearly there has been something wrong from a while, and for this, we the children charge Heaven and Earth for having allowed this to happen! Although I took to managing our planet from a young age, it was not something that should have been thrust upon me, and certainly it was no reason for the two of you to cease your own duties as mother and father. Do you deny it?”

The background murmurs grew more intensely, as Heaven and Earth finally faced the light of their actions, and sensed the horror of what they had passively inflicted upon their children. They could only bow out, and retire from the stands. Taking a deep breath, to steady and recompose himself, Man then placed the next being on trial, Wild Beasts, his younger brother. The two stared at each other coldly, and Man proceeded with his inquiry,

“Brother, you have been charged with disturbing the peace, of terrorising the world, and have done nothing to contribute to our planet. How do you plead?”

“NOT Guilty!”

This caused quite a stir, as Wild Beasts was not well liked amongst his siblings, and even Heaven and Earth did not find much pleasure in his company, but he was their son, so unlike Man, but their child nonetheless. They thus allowed him to roam free while Man had to continually resolve the devastation left behind.

“So rash and stubborn, even today?! You will not admit your faults, at last?!”

“What faults would these be, exactly, oh wise brother?” Wild Beasts sneered, unrepentant, and Man could only sigh in exasperation.

“Continually, you do little for us, and yet expect amenities in return? I have repeated urged you to cultivate yourself, so that you too may be productive for the world, yet you have refused!’

“I am not a slave! I just want to be left to my own devices! If you choose to toil away for the good of the planet, then more power to you, but why should I when I have not received any of the bounty that you have received from Heaven and Earth?”

“So instead of making yourself useful, you tear up the lands, harming our other brothers and sisters, and surrender yourself to a life of idleness?!”

“You speak of the damage done, but what damage have I truly done!? I am Wild Beasts, and it is my nature to roam and to find what sustenance that I can! If we were to speak of the damage done, why is it only me? What of sister Moon, and brother Tech-chine? Why are they not on trial today?!”

An uncomfortable silence rustled through the crowds, even reaching Heaven and Earth, as that shadow passed over them. Wild Beasts continued,

“Tech-chine had wrought more devastation than I have, yet he has impunity because he had been of use to the world? I have suffered under his hands as well, yet Heaven and earth appear blind to it, and I found out that Earth even encouraged it! What of the harm done by sister Moon? She had satellites orbiting her which have required our care and resources, she in her wilful youth chose to leave and were it not for the fact that Mother and father allowed her to stay in orbit, where would she be today? Despite abandoning us, she was granted aid and support. I thought that justice meant that all are tried equally, and despite how unfairly I have always been treated, where is my clemency? Where is my mercy, that I was forced to live under strange rules, with limited resources? Where is compassion demonstrated, that it is simply in my nature that I am not, nor ever will be, Man?!”

Man had to weigh his words carefully, as he considered each and every claim of Wild Beast. Tech-chine had been excommunicated, of sorts, when it was revealed that he had been inflicting great harm to the World, but they had profited from his contributions prior, thus could not say much against him; he had been excommunicated but not criminalised. Sister Moon had indeed brought shame to them in her youth, but still enjoyed the support of Heaven and Earth, although Earth had been so angry as to not speak to her for years after the abandonment. Man, too, had never gotten along with her, as he did not like how she cared little for anyone but herself, and her rationality waxed and waned frequently. Under such context, Wild Beast’s crime certainly paled in comparison, but he could not be let off so easily either. Man continued,

“What you say is true, about the others, but it does not bear relevance to you, and how you have chosen to behave. Since you would not be civilised, we left you to your wilderness, yet still you place demands on the rest of us? Look at your circumstances, and your living- if it had not been for Heaven, Earth, and myself, you would have starved and become reduced to pitiful impoverishment. We all know where lies the crux of the issue, in that you wish to be steward of the world, yet you are not even capable of managing yourself! If you had, I would have delegated you some territories that you may serve our family, and bring honour to yourself, yet instead you take the whole world as your enemy, while being dependant on it! Maybe you are a victim, who amongst us isn’t? But you are not innocent, and that makes all the difference. Have you anything else to say in your defence?”

“Just try to execute me then, as you did in the past! All you want is to control everything!”

“The fact that you are alive today means that I have never tried to kill you. But today, you may find yourself executed as part of Justice. Keep muttering your self-serving nonsense, it will not avail you. After everything I have sacrificed for your well-being, as well as others, I would like to see how you can think of any examples when you have reciprocated!”

Incensed, but shamed into silence, Wild Beast could only glower, as Man steadily gazed at him, until his wayward brother looked aside. It was not easy, and at first, Man had been a very gentle kind of steward, which Wild Beast had taken advantage of. Over time, however, for the sake others, Man had to become firmer and firmer as Wild Beast rankled under the authority given to him by Heaven and Earth, though they had often interceded and undermined Man, out of a misguided parental love. Today, they would settle matters clearly and transparently, open and above board, so that all may witness due process. Seeing as how he had cowed before him, Man saw that his brother was ready to hear the conclusions of an investigation he had ordered a while ago,

“Brother Wild Beats, we came here today, all of us have gathered here today, not to make martyrs or scapegoats out of anyone. My only purpose is that we all receive justice, where justice is due. I will reveal unto all of us now, that in my travels, I have seen how other planets are organised. By studying and learning from across the galaxy, I have been able to determine that Brother Wild Beasts may speak roughly, but there is a righteous claim to many of things he has uttered, which do not exclude what I have said earlier. When we had collected the harvests for one of my celebrations for the family, he showed no restraint nor conscientiousness in suppressing his appetites, and ate the portion left for others. In doing so, we may call him selfish, that our meagre portions were not allotted fairly, and this was due to his infringement. Yet in hindsight, our harvests were scant and paltry, I was pressed for any resources to distribute effectively, and the ultimate fault can be said to lie with mismanagement, not merely Wild Beasts alone. This is the reality of our impoverishment, and to have been taught to ignore reality from those who should have been our guardians, myself included, is a crime without opportunity for protest.

Know this, for it applies to all of us children of Heaven and Earth: our lives are better than many barren planets, but that alone is not an excuse for our parents to have simply been satisfied. There are many worlds I have seen that are less polluted, and managed more carefully that ours. Despite their best efforts, shouting is not teaching, and setting a good example speaks greater volumes when explained. Our parents have unfortunately not done enough, according to the intergalactic conventions, but they have not flouted those conventions for want of care. They have tried their best, but clearly it wasn’t good enough in cases such as Brother Wild Beasts, who may not be so wild today, if we had cleaner air, purer water, and a more active presence from Heaven and Earth. In giving us our freedom, I can say that they have oft relied upon that premise to neglect their own duties, and that will be addressed in due time. But for now, if you have nothing further to add, please step down, little brother.”

Wild Beast was dismissed from the stand, and all waited to see who would be next. Man proclaimed,

“It is only fitting today that we address any failings or misdemeanours of my other brothers and sisters not yet mentioned. Normally, we can address charges of being unfilial, or of selfishness, or of not being community-minded yet there is no need for that, as we can plainly see: Earth, Heaven, and I, Man, have failed in our authoritative duties to all of you. Thus, we cannot blame the innocent for having strayed from the path, when it was the duty of those mentioned, myself included, to help direct you all. This must not be concealed or covertly negotiated as we have been doing since the beginning: we must face the Truth, and respond accordingly.”

Gasps were heard, as they heard how Man confessed to being guilty of the same crimes of negligence. Immediately there were protests from the crowds, particularly those who had received much of Man’s care and blessings, but he waved down the crowds, as he explained,

“Yes, it is true, I have suffered for us, and I want you to know that I would do it again, if the circumstances called for it. But on my travels through outer space, I learned and studied from other planets, other worlds, and learned more of what constitutes a successful ecosystem. I must admit and accept my faults, the faults of someone well intentioned, but serious faults nonetheless, and as such, if we are to place Heaven and Earth on trial, then I am counted amongst those who have tried to lead and failed you. The air we breathe is stale, and the lands are dissipated due to how much internal strife is present. I called us all here today, to start a fresh, to rebuild by first examining how we have erred, and then proposing a better way, for everyone. I will decree this now, and it will be remembered by all present.

Firstly, Heaven and Earth, our honourable Mother and Father. Representing the peoples of the world, we acknowledge how much you have given us over the ages, and while you had definitely failed us in many respects, we also acknowledge how Heaven and Earth have remained here for us. Instead of punishment, we thank you both as your grateful children, but you are not fit to be in charge anymore, thus we will implement a system so that our impact to you be reduced, and you two may live your lives peacefully. Thus, what we owe, we will repay, and what we are owed, there is no need to repay.

Secondly, my siblings on trial, Sister Moon, Techo-chine, and Wild Beast, will be judged in accordance with each of the factions, and abide by the conditions that are determined by those factions. I leave it up to each faction, their independence on the matter, and none shall interfere with their decisions. Sister Moon and Techno-chine are already residing off world, and we will also mandate that Wild Beast must fall in line to the way of our harmony, by his own autonomy, or move off-world after a minimum period of time: he will be well equipped and stocked, and it is our wish that he finds himself his own world where he can truly belong. This is both more, and less, that which he deserves, and is thus as fair an outcome as can be granted, considering the circumstances.

Lastly, concerning myself. I will stay to help manage affairs, as I have always done, and gradually phase out my roles: the time of Man is over on this planet, and it is high time that I seek my own home. Thus, I will not inherit this world, as intended by Heavenly Mother and Earthly Father, but instead, I shall leave it to the remaining family members as I explore the Universe; I will also take some members with me, if this is their wish.

Is this verdict supported by everyone here?”

The judicial process would take a long time, for none may leave until a majority was formed, but measuring Man’s words, most acceded to the decrees, and though the future was uncertain, they knew that Man’s vision as one that avoided the continued stagnation, and inevitable death, of their world. When all had made up their minds, Man commanded everyone’s attentions, and asked,

“What say you, my Mother and Father, my brothers and sisters, citizens and denizens of the World? Do we have a consensus? Sister Willow may have withered, but her child lives on- will we create a better world for her and her generation?”

They did agree unanimously, with their decision, and they made it known for generations to come. Engulfed by feeling, yet not overcome by it, Man chose to do what was right and just and fair, and regardless of the outcome, it would forever be the true legacy he left behind.

In the faintest vestiges of his humanity, Son of Heaven and Earth also planned his next enactment, which was to remove the authority of Heaven and Earth. Having been pardoned, their crimes could not simply go unpunished, but the appropriate punishment must be meted, then met, for their parents. Since the cycle of hate and delusion would continue unto perpetuity, whether they be ostentatiously made an example of, or if they were allowed to continue with their status quo, Son of Heaven and Earth had a much more ideal outcome to help everyone involved ascend the Wheel of Karma: his parents were not to be despised, nor should they receive love, but rather justice instead. They would be taken care of while being shorn of their powers and influence, so that the successors, their children, may truly begin to live. And while they would be well kept and sheltered, it was akin to placing dying specimens into a nature reserve, where they could artificially, autonomously, live out their remaining days in peace. Having tended to his duties, above and beyond what could be humanly expected of him, he would end this on his own terms, and while it was not the perfect victory he had always strived for, it was definitely not a loss, overall.

“Son of Heaven and Earth”

Ever since the day of my birth,

I, the Son of Heaven and Earth,

Having even charged with duties befitting my station,

Duties that brought woe, and elation.

My father was a blacksmith,

I remember his eyes,

As he beat me, not unkindly,

To forge my nature into steel,

That I was to be shaped as a tool of service,

And I recall having no other purpose.

My mother was a dreamer,

Her head in the clouds.

She urged me to fly high,

To shout my name out loud,

So that the Heavens would proclaim me in the stars at night.

With mother and father’s beckoning,

I took my aim, my day of reckoning,

When I would transcend my origins,

Solar majesty, Celestial Euphoria.

In peace, I too have learned my place,

Not bound, nor shackled on this rock and water ball,

To drift, exploring outer space,

That stardust that serves as the origin of all,

I understand, ‘twas my fate from moment of birth,

Formerly,

Son of Heaven and Earth.

‘The Gospel of Joshua’

About 2000 years ago, there was a man who was able to create quite a stir, a leader whom we now know by a different name, and whose very life was considered the basic for divinity, even resulting in many followers of this son of a divine figure. He was known as a bringer of peace to his people, a messiah that inspired many after him. Of course, I am speaking about Augustus Octavius, Caesar of Rome after his posthumously deified father, Julius.

“Are you the one they call Christ, the Messiah?”

“You say that I am.”

During this inquiry, I suppose that I should have been more compliant with the officials, and by extension, Rome. It was to be expected, because no one had gone against the Roman Empire and waked away unscathed: this was the truth that had been consistent with living memory, and would likely be the case for centuries to come, especially with how Caesar Augustus had become so revered. I suppose this is where it all stemmed from, and I think back to how it all started, a few years back, when some friend and I had been growing exasperated with the Romans, but also those sycophants of my own people who had bowed down to the systematic Roman erasure of our culture.

I had been a young man, when I first gained some notoriety, studying at the temples, and witnessing how King Herod had altered their designs to match the architectural tastes of his master, Augustus. Our master too, I suppose. Being a student of the Torah, amongst other sacred texts, as well as having been able to attend some lectures from the wandering Levites, I was quite amazed that my own people had been subject to so many civilisations in our history. We had bowed before the Egyptians, the Babylonians, the Persians (who thankfully allowed us to return back to Canaan), and most recently, the Roman empire, the Alpha and Omega of all empires, having conquered the entire half of our World; the other half belonged to an equivalent empire, according to the traders who had visited the Far East, but as Rome and their cultured greatly differed, not much had been undertaken in terms of diplomatic relations. It didn’t matter to me, as I was not from a political family: my father was a carpenter, and a good man whom I respected deeply, even if the Commandments of God had not expressly told us to honour our fathers and mothers. It is my belief that in a time when culture is being amalgamated with a foreign power’s, the bond of family is magnified accordingly, and I would soon start my own. At that time, I enjoyed engaging with my teachers, and any learned man, for while I worked wood as part of my trade, I had often thought about my true passions, which were much closer to philosophy and theology. At times, I suppose that my way of thinking had been chastised by my senior teachers, but admonishment didn’t stop me from trying to find a better way for man to connect with the Divine, whatever way that may be.

In time, however, I stopped attending the temple lessons and listening to the teachers as regularly as I used to: my father was an expert in his field, and I had learned his craft well, which meant that I was now allowed to work in a greater capacity with he and my uncles. In addition, I was to be married soon, and once I started my own family, it was natural that I provide from them, as difficult as that might have become, with all the taxes that we pay to Rome, an unpopular but necessary fact of life. At least we always had bread. My mother liked honeyed fruits and pistachios, and used to joke that we could not live on bread alone, to which my father agreed- he enjoyed fish, and wild game, when we could procure any. But I always thought of eating in the manner of the Greek philosophers, who posited that there is more to life than food and drink. Maybe they were right, but that idea would not sit well with the starving, who could think of little else. Once married, I admit that I gave little thought to anything that wasn’t as practical, for like any young man with a wife, I could soon expect to have my own child, and hoped that I could be half the man my father had been to me.

“There are claims that you call yourself the Son of God. Do you deny it?”

This question, which had been causing so much contestation, now being asked of me again. It is so ridiculous! All based on a passing fanciful comment that had soon spiralled out of control. My friends and I, numbering scarcely more than a dozen, who were unhappy with how the taxes and tithes had continually bled away from our people’s cost of living, were joking one evening. A few of them had worked as tax collectors, and explained why it was that Rome continued to levy such financial strain upon the non-roman territories: it was to maintain the upkeep, hence approval, of the senate in favour of Caesar. We had seen evidence of it, even in Israel, but learned that certain groups had begun to religiously worship Caesar as a living god, the son of the last Caesar, Julius, whose people deified after they murdered him. Luke had much to say, as he had once been to Rome, and spoke of how over there Caesar was viewed as a saviour of sorts, born to safeguard the peace of the empire. While we should have been a little more careful of our words, we had all been drinking, not enough to be properly drunk, but certainly embolden by the wine, and it was Judas who suggested that we parody the concept. All of us were intrigued, and Judas pointed to me, the de facto leader (as I have unwittingly been dubbed by most of the group, in a playful manner of course), and exclaimed,

“Joshua, you are now the Messiah! We can simply say you the one to bring peace and salvation to the World, just like how Caesar has done! But you’re so good and pure, nay, humble, you won’t need taxes or an army to do so!”

We all laughed at the notion, absurd, though I admit that I did think of my father, and how much I missed him, and I said,

“Certainly, my father has been as fostering and kind as our Lord God himself, a reflection of all the noble virtues of my patriarch, thus I do not mind if he is also viewed in the same light!”

“Hey, I heard that there are euangelions written about Caesar, we should write our own about Joshua!”

‘Go ahead! But we shouldn’t call them that, people might not like it, let’s use a more domestic term, like the Good News, or maybe The Gospel?”

“Now we’re talking!”

We laughed some more, but were unaware, I think, of how those around us interpreted our mere talk. It was in the following days that we discovered how it had caused a mixed reception, especially as some of my friends told their friends about the idea of parodying Caesar’s divinity, by simply proclaiming our own saviour. Most people took it as a joke, but there were those sycophants, whom I despised, that tried to pass it on to the officials, and even those not on the side of Rome, such as the Community leaders, thought that we had crossed a line by treading on the territory of self-made divinity. True, it was blasphemous in our culture, for we worshipped the one true God, unlike most of the other countries with their pantheons, though Persia did have a religion which shared the concept of a One True Divine authority, and that might have been why we were eventually released by King Darius, who was friendly with us thanks to his Jewish officials, such as Daniel. The fact that their god took the form of a cosmological flame, and our God spoke to Moses via a burning bush, was not lost on our people back in those days.

All the same, I was now in some degree of hot water with various sides who supported Rome, or were deeply attached to our own faith, and there were even some who claimed that I was an upstart who was trying to make a name for myself. I had not retaliated, or even addressed those perfidious claims, as I was quite fond of the Stoic practice of remaining calm and unreactive when dealing with difficult matters. Peter told me that it annoyed the dissenters, who claimed that I was trying to be holier-than-thou, but I simply shook my head and turn away at such things. The people concern themselves so deeply with what is correct, that they forget what is right. I do not hate Rome, I do not denounce the Religious Leaders, I am merely trying to promote a way of life that isn’t reliant on rules, but morality, and a genuine connection with each other!

They say that you are able to perform miracles, to heal the sick, and feed the masses. Is this true?”

The inquisitor continued to address a list of charges that had been brought up against me, and this one almost made me smile. I recall, on a visit to Galilee with my friends, some young beggar boys approached me and begged some bread, which I gave, as well as a coin. They were grateful, though clearly quite wild, and I felt compassion for their circumstances, especially as one of the boys had a wound to his head, likely from having rocks thrown at him. As he ate, I bade my friends to fetch some water and to provide me with some spare cloth, that I may clean his wounds, as well as their faces, and dress the injury. Perhaps the boys, so unused to kindness, felt my intentions, and they were quite docile as they hungrily devoured their morsels. One of the boys wanted to leave, but Andrew told him that he was going to buy some sweets from the market, and if the boys did I as I bade, they would receive them upon his return, which coaxed them all to stay. It was a shame, as I asked if they had any family, and most did not, or at the very least, they chose not to answer. I said that we were all Jews, and we should all have been family, but clearly that wasn’t the case, and when I inquired as to whether the temples would help them, they revealed that the temples did not like anyone who was unclean or not well-presented. It made me disappointed that we had fallen so far, as a people, and I swore to speak with them, if such an opportunity arose. Andrew returned before too long, bringing some sweets as well as more bread, and dried fish. Most of the boys left once they received their portions, but the one whose head I had treated, thanked me with a sweet smile, and I returned it as I wished him well, reminding him not to be so rambunctious for the next few days while the injury healed.

We stayed in town for another day, and somehow word had spread that someone had come to perform miracles, and thus a crowd was gathered. I spoke to the people, and told them my views on how we blamed Rome for the state of affairs, but Rome was not here, in Israel, and it was the fact that we had forgotten our connection to each other that had led to the people’s suffering, neither blaming Rome, nor the people, but appealing to their communal goodness. Many of the people exclaimed that they had been blind to the truth, before, but now it was as if they had been given sight once more, and I could sense that the whole town was being revived spiritually. Then next day, when we had set out, an even larger crowd had gathered in the outskirts of town, including folks who had travelled to come and hear me, though I had made no plans to give such a speech. But I decided that it was a fortunate time, and I told them stories about how our community was important, and that we should be living the word of God, not merely preaching.

I told them of the time a Samaritan had found one of my friends, who had been beaten and robbed, but instead of passing him by, they took them to a place of shelter and aid. Whatever lingering resentments our peoples had from generations ago, it was nothing compared to what we as a people chose to do now.

I spoke about how Rome had conquered territories, and in doing so they had opened the rest of the world to each new territory, and vice versa. But I also said that while Rome did so as rulers, it was entirely possible that we develop friendly relations with our neighbours, and even the world at large, without the need for military-based control.

I related how we all should be examining ourselves, and whether or not we were leading lives that reflected goodness and virtues which would make our ancestors, and our God, proud.

In fact, I spoke for such a long while, that eventually I could see the crowds were growing hungry, and I mentioned that we should pause to have a quick reprieve. One of my friends said that we should send the people on their way, as we had to continue our journey as well, but I wanted us to stay for little while, at least until the meal was over. Not everyone had brought food with them, and we had not packed much either, as we were planning to eat at our next destination, but then, from the crowds, I saw the little boy whose head wound I had dressed yesterday, running to me with a big smile on his face. He said loudly,

“Teacher, are you hungry? I saved the bread and fish you gave me, please eat!”

‘Teacher’ was not my title or profession, but I did not correct his innocence, and the segments of the crowd nearby heard his words. All of a sudden, they looked around, and the ones with food saw the ones without. Almost as if the sun had dawned again a second time today, despite it being midday, everyone thought about how the message of community had been heard, but not truly understood. One person immediately offered his neighbour some bread, and another offered dried meat, and before long everyone broke out in a chorus of giving, united as they shared what they had, and spoke to each other. I smiled, and returned my attentions to the boy, who looked at me expectantly, as I took a small piece of bread, and told him,

“Thank you little one, I have no need of anymore, but perhaps some others around us do?”

The people nearby heard me, and saw the boy, whom many recognised as one of the neglected boys of their town, and when the boy approached with food, many instead offered him something of their own supplies. Before long, his hands were overflowing, and one woman gave him a basket to carry the provender, and I had no doubt that while I saw shame in many of the people’s expressions, as they reflected on their previous lack of compassion, there was also something else stirring underneath: humanity. While the crowds were still enjoying the reveries and good feelings of neighbourly action, my friends and I bade everyone farewell, and I patted the boy’s head, gently, telling him that I hoped he would grow up to be as kind as he was now. The crowds cheered as my group and I left, not for us, I should think, but for the fact that everyone had rediscovered their community spirit, and I must admit, I was overjoyed in my heart to the point of tears. Later, word of that meeting had spread, but as always, elements had changed, the figures were exaggerated, and eventually I heard a version that claimed I was able to produce a seemingly infinite amount of bread and fish for 5000 attendees, and that a little boy who offered me his food was magically able to walk away with baskets of food! It made me smile, and I hoped that the last part was true, but many versions focused on the food, and left out my message of community and love for thy neighbour: that part was more important in my opinion.

“Why do your own people hate you so much as to want to condemn you?”

“…”

“They want me to execute you! Say something, anything!”

I suppose he was right to be confused. This man was tasked with investigating the charges against me, but so far, as an agent of Rome, he hadn’t heard anything that the empire would truly be concerned about, namely my so-called intent to rebel against Caesar. Certainly, a few stories here and there might have been interpreted as challenging the authority of Rome, and Augustus, but for the most part they were not concerned about a simple Jewish carpenter who had been active in one of their smaller territories, and had never incited anything close to a coup against the Roman empire. Many of the sycophants who had basically sold their allegiances tried to insist that I was a threat, but to be honest, most of them were also the religious figures who were much like King Herod, and attempted to flatter the Roman officials, as well as curry favour with them: as such, the officials knew not to take every claim seriously. Pontius Pilate, the man asking me these questions, was one such official, and he cared even less of the alleged charges brought up that were solely based on the desecration of Jewish cultural laws, as opposed to criminal ones. Frankly speaking, he seemed a little baffled, but mostly just exasperated that he was forced to investigate these claims made against me by my own countrymen.

On that note, I thought to the fact that perhaps it was not the religious leaders, and the contemporaries, or even the Sadducean-types who truly hated me, but my own friends? My thoughts crossed over to Peter, whom had been with me up to this point, as we all prayed in the gardens shortly before I was apprehended. It is funny, as Peter one of the first of my friends to join me as we travelled around our country, hoping to inspire a simply message in a rather barren time. Rome had often proclaimed that it was the bringer of peace, and that Caesar Augustus was the one destined to bring peace, so my friends and I produced a meta-response to this by visiting places, and attempting to reignite the people’s feelings, now given way to a type of tolerable apathy: the peace of Rome was also the stagnation of Rome, in that the lack of freedom we felt from being under the empire’s yoke also led to a quiet death of our own sense of national identity. In the garden, I had been meditating, lost in prayer, and Peter, who originally wanted to join me, had fallen asleep. Understandable, of course, but Peter was too hard on himself, and to ease his distress I said,

“I will forgive you thricely, that you may be pardoned for one condonable failing, if falling asleep in such a peaceful place could be considered a failing. As long as you do nothing else to disappoint me before the rooster crows at dawn, you can forgive yourself once, surely?”

“Joshua, where did Judas go earlier? You said something about his need to take care of an important task? What could be more important than to spend the Passover together?”

I thought to myself, how much should I reveal to Peter? Days ago, Judas had spoken privately to me, and told me that his parents had not approved of our fraternising, as they were stoutly for the Roman empire, and wished that their son focus on his duties as a tax collector. However, that was not the least of it, for Judas told me that he loved me in a manner that was sinful, and considered an abomination in our culture. At first, I was not sure how to take the news, for it certainly was strange: I loved my wife, loved my family, and I love for my fellow countrymen, but what Judas spoke of was more commonplace in the Greek and Roman liberal societies. While apprehensive, I thanked him for his honestly, and explained that while this was not something I personally could understand, I did not think that it changed anything about the Judas I had already spent so much time with. To reassure him, I told him that should be forced to make a choice between us and his family, I would understand, and that I wished for us to be able to fraternise as we had always done. A small rift had now formed between us, but I embraced him, to remind him that a community could not be strong and healthy without the ability to express who we are within it, and that even if we did not know each other, I would never condone him to die, as our religious leaders would. I swore that I would always think of him as my friend, and he cried in my arms, relieved that I had not thought of him poorly, which made me think that whatever the custom, or the law, or the tradition, people should never forget that we are all human. No human deserves to suffer for being themselves, and actions define us better than colour or creed.

At the meal earlier, I saw that Judas was growing uncomfortable, and thinking that he was concerned for his parents, I bade him to go and do what must be done. Little did I know that perhaps I had not listened to him when he opened himself to me, and that perhaps there were lingering resentments that I had not considered. But in trying to alleviate his troubles, I took bread, and a cup of wine, and I bade each of my friends take a morsel, and drink a sip, as a reminder that we were bosom friends; this was a sign of our unity, sharing the body and the blood of one another, symbolically renewing our camaraderie. I was comforted that when Judas left, he seemed less conflicted. To answer Peter, I said,

“Well, Peter, Judas has mentioned that his family is concerned for him, for what we are all doing. And to be frank, I also think that perhaps all of you are in some degree of danger. While we are not doing anything wrong, from our perspective, we are starting to rustle feathers, and not just of our own community leaders, who claim that I am disturbing the peace, and corrupting the youth. Maybe it is better that we quit while we’re still whole and intact: our message will continue to spread, but we don’t need to the change the world today. I do believe that what we are preaching is a message that will be heard by more and more people if things continue as they do under foreign rule.”

“Well, maybe that is true, I know a few of us already miss our families, but we agree that what we’ve been doing has been good for our people, for all peoples! It’s hard to think that years ago, when you came to us speaking of renewing our community ties as sons and daughters of Abraham, and to find the spirit of God present in all living things. I must admit, I never expected that we would end up causing so much controversy with Rome and amongst our own people. Like that time you swam out to the rocks, and when the storm broke out we came to fetch you in our boat. You seemed so calm, compared to us, that the people looking on thought you walked on the waters and came to our aid! Or remember when we went to that wedding, and the groom was so drunk that when you gave him water, he thought it was the best wine of all?”

I laughed with Peter, as we reminisced all the adventures that eventually led to rumours that I was somehow the Messiah prophesised. It was in this mood that Judas appeared, and I could sense that there were people with him. But Judas came to us, looking troubled, though trying his best to conceal it, and in a low voice, warned us that his parents had gotten into trouble with the authorities: he had been coerced into leading soldiers here to arrest me. Peter immediately grew angry, but I silenced him as Judas continued speaking, saying that the soldiers were only interested in me, and that perhaps I could escape if he identified someone else.

“I will claim that in the dark, the soldiers captured the wrong person. Joshua, this is serious. Apparently, they have been trying to arrange for your interment for a while, and while I am forced to lead them here for the sake of my family, I would not betray you! Peter looks enough like you in the dark, when they capture him and it’s revealed that he is not you, maybe we can get off with just a light punishment.”

I could hear the desperation in his voice, and I knew that even if we did this, there was no guarantee that Judas or Peter would be let off lightly, for a blunder such as a mis-arrest would surely have brutal consequences, especially if they wanted to make an example of me. With a sign, I shook my head, and said,

“Thank you, Judas, and Peter, for I know you would agree, but to allow you to take the blame on my behalf is too great a burden for me. I said it before, and I say it again: do what you must do, my friend.” It pained them both, but Judas kissed my cheek, his eyes full of tears, and to extricate him, I stated loudly,

“Judas! You would betray me, with a kiss?!”

The soldiers rushed forwards to apprehend me, and Peter, unable to contain himself, pulled out his sword and started swinging to fend them off, hitting one in the head, and subsequently knocked him to the ground.

“Enough, go! It is only me that they want, and I will comply!”

Gently, I approached the soldier on the ground, and noticed that Peter had only slightly cut him, though the soldier writhed in pain, exclaiming that his ear had been cut off. I wiped away the bleeding, and spoke to him, saying that his ear was fine. However, in the panic, the solider misinterpreted my words, thinking that I had miraculously healed his ear, exclaiming as much, and the other soldiers looked on in awe as I went over to them. Judas, my only friend remaining in the garden, looked on remorsefully, as one of the authorities accompanying the solider gave him a small purse of silver. From there, it wasn’t long before I ended up in a cell, and was soon speaking with Pontius Pilate, the governor himself. At first, he had not wanted to be bothered by me, for the local Jewish affairs did not interest him, but my accusers whispered that I was an affront to Caesar himself, and this made Pilate worried, for he needed to be seen as a devout Roman agent. Trying to appease the dissenters, he had me whipped, mocked me by placing a garland of thorns on my head as a crude crown, hoping that it was would be enough, and planned to release me, but unfortunately my enemies would stop at nothing to see me destroyed, it seemed.

“Listen, I can see that you have committed no real crime, and though there are numerous rumours about you, none can prove that you are anything but a man with ideas that resonate with certain people. In my home country, we would have treated you as a mere philosopher, but out here, for some reason, the people seem savage enough to want to kill you! I tried to have you released as part of the Passover tradition, but they demanded that I release another man, who is certainly guiltier of more heinous crimes. Do you have anything to say about that?

“Yes… I suppose that if this is the will of my countrymen, then so be it. I have already spoken to them about my message, and if this is how it must be, then I suppose you must do what you must do, Governor Pilate.”

Pontius Pilate saw no other option than to agree to the clamour, and took a bowl of water, dipping his hands inside, signifying that he wanted no part in it- it sickened him, I saw, for he was not a bad man, but his duty had been to keep the peace. Little did he know, that after I was crucified, I had effectively become a martyr to my own message of community and unity.

While it was almost 300 years later, eventually even Rome officially adopted Joshua’s message of unity, under Caesar Constantine, and combined his legacy (which his friends/disciples continued to spread after his death) with that of Pagan traditions. Ironically, his name was changed to something more appropriate sounding for his time, and despite how often he spoke from the position of being under Roman control, he was now immortalised in the same manner that Caesar Augustus had been during his lifetime. Truly, the Lord in Heaven must work in mysterious ways. Or maybe this is just a facet of Humanity, which is equally nebulous. It matters not, for considering what has happened, and the manner in which he is remembered, I wonder, did he ever truly exist? I suppose the real answer is that the question of his existence is not as important as the message he preached while alive, and the same should be said of all of us.

Author’s note: It is easy enough to write controversial depictions of Christ, for I grew up in the western world, attended a Catholic school, and have studied many branches of esoteric knowledge. While some people feel strongly about anything that might impinge upon the divinity of Christ, I do not believe that a person need be divine in order for us to emulate their actions. After all, if the only iconic, sinless person is purported to be Christ, in what way is emulating his behaviour blasphemous? Thus, when I wrote this ‘Gospel of Joshua’, my intention was not to ridicule or challenge anyone’s beliefs, but rather to reinforce the positive messages of Jesus Christ. While I have, at times, compared the spread of Christianity as that of an invasive species, practicing good does not require a label, and true Christians are not those bound by doctrine, but those who live and breathe the living message of their Messiah.

‘The Tirades’

Beware he who is slow to wrath, for when that anger builds enough it will torrent and flood, and is equally slow to dissipate.

“Justice, Just Is”

“You dare to call me ungrateful… Do you even know the meaning of that word? I gave way to you, time and time again, in hopes that you would learn to be grateful! Instead, you attack me unprovoked, and drive me off from my home. Think about it! If you had only chosen to work with me instead of constantly undermining others, do you think you would have ended up in such a sorry state today?!” -Lui Bei to Lu Bu, before the latter’s execution.

To my esteemed comrades,

I apologise in advance for the venom that will soon be exposed, released. It is a most toxic of toxins, a potent poison which has been fermenting within the brewery of my mind, heart, and soul, contained at bay in hopes that I might one day allay the effects, and develop an antidote. This is a culmination of painstaking contemplation, my solution to a problem that should never have been mine.

Now, let us begin.

I saw from our first meeting 10 years ago,
That you are more than those parts of you that dared not show.

I will not name you. You are no one to me. You are nothing. Less than nothing. And I hope our paths never cross again.

Personally, you are not a pleasant person to be around, for the most part. You are not an easy person to work with, for the most part. Yet I played my civil part nonetheless, and I hoped that in time you would recognise your transgressions against me. That we could bridge the gap with understanding. Instead, you have constantly bickered with me due to your need for control. I have been slandered, belittled, maligned, and even humiliated by you. Even now, years later, a fury erupts from within, stemming from the unjust treatment I have received by your hand, and your tongue, and such juvenile malice emanating from your core.

Perhaps I am to blame, at least in part, if not in whole. Peacekeeping means more to me than personal ego. Social harmony meant more to me than petty feuds. And I will openly concede that you are capable of doing good, of trying to make this world, which none of us chose to be born in, a better place. Misguided as you were as to what constituted ‘Justice’, and ‘Goodness’, and a ‘Better World’, I do not think of you as evil. But your words and actions are forever etched upon my being, and I choose not to forgive your heinous crimes against me. My pain and suffering by your intent as well as neglect will stay with me for eternity. Do you dare to look me in the eye, and deny what you have done or tried to do to me? Do so at your own peril.

I said nothing when you labelled me a discriminant man,
I did nothing to you when your backbiting became too much for even me.
When you damaged my property in one of your tantrums, I demanded no recompense.
When your antics almost caused a car accident, endangering several others, I let it pass.
You kept accusing me of harbouring ill intentions to others, a suspicious mind doth speak for itself.
Constantly making me feel like an outsider in my own social circles is not what I would consider philanthropic behaviour.
I am admittedly strange by normal standards, but I take no pleasure in harming people, unlike you. 
Of course, I’m sure the world would be a fairer place if we did what you allowed us to do, and enjoyed doing only what you think is right.

I’m being sarcastic, bitch.

Throughout all of this, my chief grievance is only that you have repeatedly refused to apologise to me for all your wrong doings. Even when you knew you were wrong, and deigned to express a begrudging regret, there was no sincerity in your gesture, empty except for your pride. It bewilders me, for you are far from stupid, though more foolish than you are aware… Our prudent friends understood long before you did, how dangerous it is to antagonise someone who does not forget.

I do not justify who I am or what I have done to others, to be so deserving of your subconscious despise. I have never cared about what others think of me, only that I do not misunderstand myself! However, you may be hard pressed to find anyone who would concur with how you’ve treated me. There will be no negotiation, no pleading or bargaining or room for discussion. From now on, I dictate the terms, and you will submit, or be punished accordingly.

“At times, I think to myself, objectively, would the World be better off without you?” To my everlasting shame, I dare not give an answer.

In bitter closing: Fuck You.

But also, in having said that: thank you, sincerely.

Time and time again I have gone out of my way to treat you well, yet you repay my kindness with scorn. I never thought I would be able to encounter such a person. In my entire life, amidst the atrocities I’ve been forced to endure with a false grin, I have only ever come to hate one person: You. Having denounced you, history can judge us now, for I am completely, absolutely, irrevocably, done with you. I hate you as corpse waits for a vulture to stop picking at its carcass. Then I realised, it is only instinct, nature, not deliberate, do not bother hating the animal.

That is my final act of mercy, by not succumbing to thoughts of revenge. I do not forgive you. I will not forget a single slight. But I will allow you to walk away, and stay away, for the remainder of your natural life: that is Justice, delivered from me, to you.

So much potential, yet you abandon yourself to Vice

There is no doubt that I am superior to that overly fatuous and out of touch man. As time went on, his flaws and inconsistencies revealed themselves, and he placed too much emphasis on Status Quo, rather than seeing the potential in all. It grew worse as we aged, and he became muddle-headed. In sooth, I have always been superior to him, yet I treated him as my senior and urged him to take the path of Light, to abandon his dead-end descent into self-ruin: still, he clung to his stale and forceful ways, and would make enemies instead of allies. That is because the nature of power is to shift and flow, regardless of how much we demand it to stay by our sides, and that is why he lost his instead of furthering it. Allow me to say this plainly so that all may understand: one could tie three Benchus together, and they still would not equal one Cao Mengde!

-Cao Cao regarding his childhood friend and rival, Yuan Shao.

It would not be far-fetched to say that I respected you, and respected what you wished to accomplish. This could be the principal reason I chose to serve as your advisor and Man Friday, and in the beginning, despite hiding my abilities so as to preserve your delicate ego, you were still in command of your senses to be aware of how much power I wielded, though did not employ. However, when you revealed time and time again how much it threatened your perceived notions of self-worth, I still chose to hope that you were develop yourself to see clearly. Alas, this proved not to be so, at least not until it was too late.

I want you to know that I too, regretted doing what must be done, and while I did not mention details to everyone, you receded as you had been doing for too long, retreating into your territories. Such inconsistency from you, which I found comical at first, and worrying as time went one. Do you not comprehend the simple manner of consistency in speech and behaviour? Oh yes, let’s talk about me, and my absurd fickleness- you fool, it’s meant to be a paradox! That’s the very definition of living satire/parody! You on the other hand chose to present yourself as an elitist individual, which I have no issue with as I am also an elitist, albeit a very inclusive one. In your circumstances, you cannot spout empty moral integrities if you cannot back it up with your behaviour accordingly! Honestly, how do you expect to be viewed, when you claim that you are able to handle losing, yet when you lose, you throw a tantrum? This type of behaviour is toxic, and as a role model it is not befitting of you. As I said to you in our last correspondence, I could have quashed your ego from the start, and for your sake, I regret not doing so.

Even at the end, I still saw the potential that you could do much good, and I did play my part accordingly. Perhaps in that premise lies the only fault you can find with me, for I admit that I had to conceal my powers and abilities for my own devices, but knowing you, I suppose that you may have seen it as an affront to our whole working relationship: that is only a generous concession I grant to you. After all, how often have you undervalued and undermined my great contributions? Why is it that you could allow that woman to poison your mind, and drive a wedge between us? I was artful enough to navigate her webs, but you have proven your ineptitudes by allowing yourself to become entangled. Do you not recall what we had accomplished when we worked together?! Those were glorious days that I still reflect upon fondly… But they are over now, and we must proceed with the choices we have made. Of course, that does include the chance, and choice, for redemption…

To An Old Comrade

There is a difference between being charming, and having substance. In your case, you have grossly underestimated how much I am willing to forgive by way of transgressions. While the others do not understand, I have worked myself to wit’s end trying to make sense of your hypocrisy, and I realised eventually that there was no inconsistency with you: you are simply a survivor. Know that while I am generous, there is an important difference between my offering, and you asking. In terms of hard work and attentions, you seem unconcerned that you merely cater to the idea of good, while in truth you are a lacklustre and very underutilised individual. Although I have made repeated overtures to you, and hoped that you can understand the ancient laws of fraternity, you are also rather insecure, for in all respects, I am better than you. That is why I did not address this with you, for I also had hopes that you would repent, and reinvigorate your virtues. Instead, you have become little more than a squatter, a parasitic entity of sorts, and it is only a matter of time before everyone finds out that you offer very little for what you take. Instead of ousting you, I simply choose to respect that you are irascibly yourself, your true nature, and while you would sell out everyone for your own sake, you are far too indolent to do any real harm to the world. In many ways, it is admirable, that you have found a way to live as such, but I am doubtful that it will bring you much fulfilment in the long run. Please, be grateful, remember those who have done you a good turn, or someone one day will remove one of your kidneys.

Have Some Self-Respect!

Allow me to begin by saying that you do not deserve to be alone for the rest of your life.

That much goes for most human beings, and despite our numerous flaws and deficits, you have potential that is going to waste. I believe that this is the chief reason why you had been single for so long. Yet so seemingly comfortable had you grown in your tiny shell, how could you have progressed, and bloomed into the true man you could be? I will tell you know that a man’s measure is his ability to endure AND overcome. You have been enduring, but having you overcome your demons? In absence of that, I chose to become your guardian devil, so as to irritate you, annoy you, stimulate you, into casting off your feeble husk, and taking to the skies as is the birthright of all young men.

There is so much artificiality regarding the dating scene, and so many peddlers of half-truths or radical ideas. You do not have the options to be picky, so start by grabbing some, and then make your opinions after you have sampled more wares. This does not make you a bad person, but as I have demonstrated, why care if others view you as a bad person? Your chief concern should be that you do not misjudge yourself, and you have not yet understood the kind of person you are as you have yet to overcome your burdens. Embrace the pain, the suffering, the anger, and use it to fuel your ambitions, to metamorphosise your prison into a chrysalis, and then break free once you are ready.

Do you know how mad it makes me, to see you reduced to such a pitiful state!? To witness as you voluntarily castrate yourself!?! Surrounding yourself with the kind of people who vacillate and neutralise you, who cannot give you honest advice because they themselves are ignorant, that is a crime that you may not be guilt of, but you are surely not innocent either. You are merely serving as their pawn, and if that is your choice then so be it, but that should be up to you, not them!

I maintain that I did not betray the Codes of Friendship, but I was not aggressive enough in my lessons; I suppose that you are so used to other ‘friends’ who come by and take away those you have grown attached to. This is a childish notion, as no one belongs to anyone is this sense, and those who take opportunity will reap the rewards, or take losses to their investment- that is the nature of this game, and you either play to win, or choose not to play. Unfortunately, you can’t choose not to play, and you are never going to win until you regain your organic sensations, instead of etherising yourself with the modern opioids. It is as a true friend that I beseech you: learn to channel your true self, become powerful in your own rights (without the need to tear others down), watch as your life falls into place, and you find yourself in the good graces of those you court!

In closing: stop being such a fuckin’ low-T beta! Be strong for yourself, and you need not pine for the approval of others. If you’re gonna work-out, then quit doing 20 minutes of cardio and calling that a good session: it was fine in the beginning, not so much after your 24^th visit to the gym! Also, do I even need to talk about your diet???

Harness your rage, don’t sedate it, and you will come to understand that your emotions are a part of you as much as any physical limb. If you deny that, then you deny parts of yourself, and no good can come of it.

I’ll be ready to push you whenever you’re ready to commit to a better You, today, not tomorrow.

Never Wound what you Cannot Kill

Hello, Princess…

I knew that we would be having this conversation, one day. Ever since you first arrived in my circles, I knew that you were of a particularly deft persuasion: it was very pleasant to have enjoyed the presence of a frenemy such as yourself. For what are we, after all, but charm and smiles, weaponised… though those are not my primary weapons, as you came to understand.

Now is not the time to say too much, for I am not done with you yet, and I doubt you will ever be free of me- that is samsara, that is karma. Never wound what you cannot kill, isn’t that the old saying? I will be carefully positioned around you for the rest of your life, and you know that there is nothing you can do about it: if you try to leave, you give me grounds to attack openly, but you know by now that I much prefer to torture you, slowly, as we navigate the quasi-faux pas of our relationship.

But you also know that I am quite fond of you, don’t you? That’s why you can’t just walk away- we have shared moments that have made you rethink your life, and we will likely continue to share those brief glimpses of what could have been. That is because we were made to be compatible with each other, and we simply chose to skirt the edges of our mutually adverse fascination. Even though I’ve never asked you, in my mind I always imagined I knew the answer that applied to our situationship.

I have compared thee to a Midsummer’s breeze, frolicking with the lonely clouds, as we wander, and wonder, at the serendipity. Then I shake off the reverie, and remember that your debt is deep, and will only grow deeper. until the day I come back, and finally snuff out your light, please, continue to amuse me as you always have.

Lots of affection from,

The Cloying Lizard.

Shattered Fraternity

Dear Xiong Di,

We do not share blood, but wine, and it is also thicker than water. Though you have chosen to betray our fraternity. I want you to know that if you dare show your face again, I will beat you to an inch of your life. Then I will heal you with the greatest skill and care I can afford, because you do not deserve to die, despite your crimes, and I would not sully my hands with your death. Go and live a prosperous and fulfilling life, just as I had always supported, for you were truer than my brothers to me, Xiong Di.

Blind Faith

Foolish Young Man,

I have to admit, I am not sure where to begin with you. You are not like my first Disciple, but you are his complement, which can be interpreted in many ways… Your brain is quick, but you lack finesse and substance. Then, as time went on, your brain became muddle-headed as you tried to clumsily usurp your traumas and shortcomings. How many times have I told you? Your true power is the willingness to expose yourself to different scenarios- you were never meant to excel at them, merely experience them!

It is difficult, I understand- I knew from the start, and simply played along. When did you realise? Maybe, it was too soon, but probably, it was too late. After all, you have such a need for validation, a craving for attention, that you eventually grew to dislike being corrected, even though, as I have said prior, you lack finesse and substance. Your heart is in the right place, however, and for that, I cannot fault nor condemn how you have chosen to behave over the years. After all, what is the point of being someone’s puppet? Not mine, of course, though I am sure you would not be able to make that distinction, for teaching you to focus your abilities is not the same as trying to suppress them. You learned that the hard way, through your other fatuous masters. Admittedly, I also had to play my part, and it was confusing for you to say the least.

Even though you have left my guidance, I do not bear you any ill will, not even the slightest. For despite how roughshod others have ridden you, and my firmness in pursuit of your Greater Good, I have seen that your potential is yet untapped. One day, you will see the complete picture, or at least, enough of it to make sense of our history, and then you will return to me. Make no mistake- I do not consider you a prodigal son, but a pioneer of your own narrative, which makes me immensely proud. I applaud you, for choosing your own paths, and I experienced every sorrow firsthand with you, even if you were unaware… For a while, you lost your way, and then you became side-tracked, but I am ever-factoring you into my plans, because you earned your place in my collectiveness. 

Rest assured; I still have hope for you. 

Fret not: You have a lot more left to give.

After all, you are not so young and foolish anymore, are you? 

Oh Shame, grant thyself Ignominy

I recall how, a few years after I had left secondary school, I bumped into a colleague. Although I was in no state of mind to understand it back then, she looked at me strangely, which is not unusual in and of itself, but unlike during our schooling days, there was another emotion mixed into her expression. Doing as I did best, I tried to be polite, and avoided details of my own life, but after a time, when her tone had clearly denoted a gentleness of unknown origins, she confessed to me,

“Hey, I’m glad to have run into you again… after we all graduated, we heard the truth about you. It was hard to believe, but the evidence started mounting as soon as we queried the rumours, and we understood at last: we thought that you were just lazy and snobbish, considering the way you never truly interacted with us. But it’s different now. We know- we know what you do for your family, and how much you suffered… are still suffering… Look, don’t be a stranger, okay!? A lot of us all still hang out together, and we’d be happy if you join us, whenever you get a chance.”

At this point there were tears in her eyes, as she revealed that my mask was not as secure as I had wanted, and that look she gave me prior was now discernible: it was pity. Which I loathed, as my shame had been sighted, and I could no longer pretend, even to myself, that I had not fallen on such hard times before, and was recovering still to this day. Then it came over me, a natural response I suppose, a stiff and proud resentment, and I admit that I was cold and brisque with her as I excused myself. I never did take her up on the offer to socialise with the old crowd, my old life. However, I was too busy with my duty to think too much of it, until years had passed, and I was able to reflect on her words, which I had never forgotten. It was a sincere kindness on her part, and I would apologise, and amend my past actions, if Fate should cross our paths again.

Beyond Love and Hatred

Have you ever had to give up something you love so much because it was killing you?

That is how I feel about the emotions “Love” and by extension, “Hatred”, which is why I gave them up: my view is that personal love is evil, undoubtedly so, but it is a necessary evil which constitutes human development.

You hurt me, I hurt you, and neither of us understood that it was due to the desire to avoid pain that we ended up causing so much of it. All this could be avoided if we had been honest, in Mind, Body, and Soul. But it’s something which has left deep wounds that have since scarred, become forgotten. Now, I realise that it didn’t matter, that anything lingering is merely a sign that we have not left our old selves behind. I have only myself to blame, and apart from thrice sending you my apologies, I know not what I could do, bar disrespecting your wishes, and by extension, responding to your true feelings. After all, it’s not like we did anything that could not be undone, even though every fibre of our beings wanted to, and in time I realised why I hesitated so often: in the core of my being, I view romantic love as Evil. Thank you for being the final test that allows me to try my hand at true villainy, and not the lukewarm self-serving hypocrisy of people trying to lead media-doctored lives. And I think that if I found you gain, I would express what I concealed all that time ago, and I would envelop you with the warmth of my soul. But how conceited of me! I know you, the real you, your true essence and character: you wouldn’t be moping with unrequited feelings, with hurt and acrimony. I choose to believe that you made your peace with our mistakes, and moved on, found someone who cares for you the way you deserve, that you continued to have adventures and experience new wonders of life, and that would make me the happiest, to know that you bloomed and blossomed in spite of the negativity before. So often, my love for other girls was bitter sweet, it was founded on feelings unrequited. My feelings for you were sweet and sour, a blend of tastes for a less idealistic man, but I loved you nonetheless, and you will always be remembered as the last girl I had real feelings for. It is not hurt, but peace, which allowed me to make this choice. We can’t go back to before, not for real- all we can do is revisit the memories of that recording, but while I remember love, I do not love any more, and I am happier for it.

The mistake others have made with you is in not elaborating on the rationale of their decisions. In that I too am guilty, but I address it now, as a token of how I am a changed man. To address my thesis, that Love is evil, I wish to distinguish between romantic love, familial love, and cosmic Love, which is the only one exempt from being classed as evil, for romance is of the body, family if of the mind, and cosmic if of the soul: the latter cannot coexist with evil, which is why it is the purest form. Next, we must address, what is Evil? Anything that significantly diminishes or impacts upon human potential, especially if it does not serve a greater purpose, can be classed as evil, but I must highlight that there are many shades of technical evil, and in the classical sense, everything is neither void of Good nor Evil, which will be elaborated upon below. After compiling my decades of research and critique of the Human condition, I have concluded that it is not Good or Evil that serves as the primary definition of usefulness, but rather the concept of Power which is absolute, ironic as it may seem with its shapeless fluctuations, but that is something which I expressly delve into with my other work, “The Shinriki Solution”, and as such, I will be focusing more only on Love/Hatred in their relationship to Good/Evil.

How can it be that Love is evil? To begin, I will cite the example of how love for family stands in the way of equality and justice: human nature is to band together, but this instinct is so ingrained that most people will access harbouring a criminal if they happen to be one’s family member, and in the event that the criminal is not given safe mooring, then a degree of clemency is almost certainly requested when it comes to sentencing. We can say that the bonds of family are a stronger force than the codes of law, and that it would be evil to not stand by one’s kin, yet the same arguments can be made for how a murderer still receives their mother’s love and aid, with no regard to how the mother of the murdered may feel. What then, do we do with the contention between respective loves for the murderer, and loves for the victim? Perhaps some might argue that those who do so are not the norm, and as such we cannot tar all with the same brush, especially as not all crimes are viewed in the same light: should drug peddling be an executionary offence, for instance? Yet in all cases, we do not choose who we love, and denying that is a denial of human nature, which is naïve at best, and evil at worst (due to suppressing/distorting something’s inherent nature). Even if we were to criminalise homosexuality, being lawful still does not change how the nature of such a law is evil, for it suppresses an inherent aspect of an individual. Meanwhile, a law that suppresses murder does not fall under such a category, as the murder of others in general diminishes their potential and inherent nature to seek life. While this may seem strange and contradictory to my premise of family members who willingly shelter criminals, I aim to demonstrate how in and of itself, being lawful doesn’t make one inherently good, and being a criminal doesn’t make one inherently evil. That leads into my next point, which concerns itself with the idea of Necessary Evil, which is how I categorise Love.

Necessary Evil is a complicated topic, and lends itself more to romantic love than any of the others. Imagine, before romance, someone too ignorant to care about their appearance, status, and hobbies, too naive to be anything other than at peace with themself. Due to the free market nature of romantic love, it’s all gone, and suddenly we open ourselves to insecurity, jealousy/envy, anger, bitterness, and need I go on? On the contrary, romantic love can also become the path to validation, improvement, re-evaluation, new experiences in general! This augmentation and evolution of one’s inherent nature is a Good, while those who succumb to the negative experiences describe it as Evil. Thus, the person determines how romantic love is labelled, and as life experiences are not all pleasant, we can thus conclude that love is an evil, yet essential to maturing, and as a consequence, I have given it the title of a Necessary Evil. The reality is that the pleasures of romantic love serve as a euphoric lie that furthers a person, yet also carries with it the pitfalls associated with substance abuse (see how love affects the chemical balance of the mind similar to drugs). Marriages, which were an institution promoting societal cohesion, now have the connotations of affirming love, but we see in the modern world how many who want marriage do not stay married, and can infer that if love prompted them to marry, it was not enough to facilitate a continued marriage. Evidence on this have already indicated that the romantic love experiences is a short-term chemical addiction that only last between 6 months to 2 years at best, and that afterwards, the kind of love experienced by couples is more akin to familial/cosmic love. Rather than encourage marriages be seen as a business partnership, rather than the ideal fairy tale, I only seek to highlight how we should not ascribe be swayed from the bigger picture, which is to seek the zenith of our potential, in whatever regards we choose to do so in serve of the Greater Good.

On the point of Greater Good, I must cite that all of my years of spiritual study and cultivation were not what taught me the essence of Cosmic Love: I learned it and re-evaluated my understanding with assistance from familial love as well as romantic love, each vital in conjunction with my own understanding. I am of the opinion that Heaven has already given us everything we need to get what we need. After we get what we need, we may attain what we want. Cosmic Love is a Necessary Good, and provides the unity between all people to accomplish individual greatness; then what of those unfortunate enough that they cannot receive cosmic love? That is a misnomer, for Cosmic Love permeates the soul, and society, and can be expressed in every action, an autonomous harmony of the Universe; it does not need to be given, for it is like water in the oceans, all around the inhabitants. A person can sustain themselves with self-love that is neither selfish nor destructive, if they are open to it. Most of the time, this is the type of love that is developed in a religious or mentoring sense, yet it is so vast and omni-applicable, that it is sometimes mixed with filial or romantic expressions of love, which leads to people misidentifying it. This is the type of love that sustains an artisan’s craft, it is the consideration shown for those less fortunate, and the ability to wipe away the illusion of separation, free of the Human Ego. This type of Love I wholly subscribe to, as I demonstrate it to my own friends, family, and neighbours (whoever they may be), and which gives me to the confidence to be a Villain for the Greater Good. Love and Hatred are rooted in attachments, and I have found myself an answer that allows the spirit to be free yet does not negate the Human experience.

The Villain Manifesto

“I chose my path, you chose the path of the hero. And the people of this city found you amusing for a time. But the one thing they love more than a hero, is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying. In spite of everything you’ve done for them, eventually they will hate you. Join me! Imagine what we could accomplish together! What we could create!”~ Green Goblin attempting to convince Spider-Man to join him

After decades of research and observation related to the Human Condition, I officially identify as a Villain: changes to my lifestyle and personality are to be implemented accordingly. In conclusion, I’m much happier and productive not denying who I am. My alignment is still [Greater] Good. If in doubt, simply refer to Galatians 4:16.

I daresay that for most of my life I’ve been a good person, but barring that, I’ve also tried to be an extraordinarily good person, so I understand the difference. I wear masks, and practice philosophical Theiamania (along with Classical Absurdism), and have cultivated myself alongside the primary virtues for close to 3 decades. Most people know that I don’t talk about my past, or even the majority of my personal thoughts, and despite the myriad of contributing factors involved with that aspect of my personality, the reality is that most people can’t relate to my experiences, and I am overly self-conscious about maintaining harmonious relationships. I literally created myself from nothing, and no one I’ve met has been exposed to the same degree of responsibilities and extreme circumstances. This has led to some rather unfortunate misunderstandings, for which I can only offer my sincerest condolences. From now on, I will strive to communicate more effectively and candidly, while trying to maintain tact, but if I feel it’s appropriate, I’ll also tell you why you’re wrong and why you should fuck off: this is the nature of open/honest communication after all.

To address my penchant for misdirection, I will only say that being asked about my personal life is often arduously painful, even triggering me to a certain degree. Maybe other people live normal lives with normal problems, but I am not one of them, despite having to cater for normal people. Being asked how I am when I am the only one holding things together isn’t particularly pleasant for me. To compensate, I wear a mask, not because I want to ‘deceive’ others, but simply so that I may hide my scars/deformities. I apologise for those who think ill of me, treating me with great suspicion and unkindness- perhaps that is just Human Nature, but I have never attempted to harm others, and I help others without needing anything in return; therefore, I often baffled that people can draw such baseless conclusions. Rhetorically, I ask who has not benefitted from my good nature (and generosity), and what I have ever asked for in exchange? For the most part, I have simply tried to do good when and where I can, and observe the outcomes. Instead of using force, I prefer to employ diplomacy, and convince others through virtue. The results have been mixed, especially when dealing with the rampant hypocrites, but occasionally I meet individuals who respond well enough to my personal policy that it revives my Hope in others. For the latter, please know that I do not seek to gain anything by practicing good, yet I am always deeply heartened when I meet those who can truly reciprocate my standards.

My decision has little to do with personal feelings, which I have learnt to master, and more to do with pragmatism. While a sage can inspire good in others, I believe that my own efforts have not been so fruitful, and as such, I choose to be heuristic about how I live life from now on. It may surprise some, but I have always suppressed a lot of my own abilities and ambitions in order to facilitate others’ growth, and while I have tried to live selflessly, I daresay that I can personally accomplish a lot more if I focus on tending to my own circumstances. This is a sentiment that I know is echoed by many of you, so I do not think anyone can fault my decision to adopt my own brand of Villainy. Ironically, my primarily interest has always been Power: to understand it, to accumulate it, and to use it to empower others. Previously I practiced it passively, and now I will also do so more overtly.

There is something I want to elaborate on, now that I am declaring my open intentions, and that is how I have tried to build a good relationship with others, even if it means putting up with pettiness, hypocrisy, sociopathy, and general slander/ridicule/predations etc etc (these people know who they are, and I want you to know that I have always known what you are). I prefer to be on good terms with others, and counted myself a friend to all, but there have been two persons over the years whose association weigh on my conscience. Owing to my private nature, I rarely discuss it, but I will briefly detail the circumstances of each, so that others may judge me accordingly. They involve persons I have styled the Dissenter, and the Bitch.

The Dissenter and I were originally close, and despite everything I will always cherish the good times we shared. However, as the years went by, so did he fall deeper and deeper into paranoia and suspicion, which became increasingly difficult to mitigate. It was quite onerous to cater for his inferiority AND superiority complexes, but I daresay he had the potential to be a great man. In the year before I cut all ties with him, I attempted to include him in more social events, extending numerous invitations to hang out at my house parties: he rarely bothered to respond directly, getting his girlfriend to liaison with me (who addressed it with me as we both knew it was insulting), and even made demands things like my guest list (again, through his girlfriend). When he finally deigned to attend after a year of such treatments, I was very happy that he came, and afterwards I sent a message to all guests thanking them for their company, with certain guests named for their help. The next day, he sent me a patronising message lecturing me on how rude it was of me to thank certain guests in particular, a sentiment that no one else has ever expressed. After much deliberation, I took decisive action, telling him that such weakness of character could no longer be tolerated, and that he shouldn’t bother contacting me again; the fact that he was prompted to do so by someone else doesn’t excuse such foolishness. Admittedly, I worried that I had enabled such behaviour in my years of tolerating it, and at my wit’s end, I was uncharacteristically harsh. Years later, at mutual party, I greeted him civilly, but all he did was walk away without uttering a word. I harbour no ill will, regretting instead that we could not prevent such degeneration.

As for the Bitch, I crafted another response years ago, when I began the early concept designs for Summum Malum. Instead of repeating all that here, I will simply reiterate that she is the only person I have ever hated, and I’ve put up with more than my fair-share of abuse/exploitation. For the sake of some mutual friends who I highly respect, I practiced forbearance, extending every courtesy, which was mainly repaid with scorn and malice.  It got to the point where she had made so many attacks on my character, my idiosyncrasies, and my general existence, that she effectively dehumanised me. It’s almost like being molested and not realising it until years later. I often wondered whether or not the world would be better without her, and to prevent any unwanted accident of temper, I’ve made sure we’ve had no contact with each other when I realised just how much I loathed her. After more years of cultivation, I was able to resolve my dangerously dark feelings, and used the experience to bolster my own dedication towards the Greater Good. Wherever she is now, I solemnly hope our paths never cross again.

There have been others who have clashed with me over the years, even in recent times (such as the Hypocrite and the Tool); I mention the Dissenter and the Bitch in particular because they were control freaks who did not realise their folly until it was too late. Without embellishment or creative licence, this is a true account of my history as well as my intentions. Owing to my quantum memory (a variation of hyperthymesia), I have recorded all my social interactions with great meticulousness and reviewed the data as impartially as I am able. It is something I will continue to do as I observe the impact of my new policies, which aim to develop healthier and more productive outcomes. I remind everyone that I abhor vices such as cruelty, violence, and wasted potential, so despite being a Villain I am not trying to be ‘Evil’. Most of you who found me pleasant before will continue to find me rather affable. However, if anybody becomes consequentially offended, I merely ask they reflect on Galatians 4:16,

“Have I now become your enemy, by telling you the truth?”

As I have now can be considered to have truly embarked upon my 30’s, I regret how often pursuing Secrets of the Universe neglected to take into accounts others’ feelosophies and concernations (as a published poet/author it is my prerogative to make-up words).

A lot of people make jokes about themselves, other people, or the world they experience. I make jokes about reality, because that’s what super awareness is: parody (and satire to a certain extent). Death is funny, pain is funny, and treating people badly is funny.

Disagree?

What are all your favourite sitcoms about?

My younger self took a lot of risks that I would never have willingly condoned in others, but there’s a fine line between being woke and being arrogative. I’m relieved that my motives were generally grounded in philanthropy, but some grave miscalculations, near misses, still haunt me to this day; they will likely follow me to thine. But my great social-psychological-biochemical-metaphysical experiment, “The Riddle of Qin”, was/is/will be a testament to the first 30 years of my life. And like all great art, it will be widely misunderstood.

“Try as you might, I cannot be humbled. My pride is a testament to the life I’ve lived, and not just the ego which resides in us all. I take nothing for granted, lest others do so unto me. If all we are promised is the here and now, I will neither forsake that which has defined me, nor give in to such regrets, and knowing this about myself, I can move forwards.”

Feeling bad about what you did? By itself, what good does that do? The gesture is surely fine, but if you mope about for 5 years being weighed down by your guilt, how is that healthy, helpful, or even dignified? Instead, use trauma and your mistakes to further yourself, apologise, but don’t live in such a sorry state (unless it is what you want to do, and not what you think others want you to do).

This is Solomon Li, Villain for the Greater Good, bidding you a pleasant and meaningful life, no matter what that may be. Maybe I will experience a redemption arc later, but I daresay that a good story deserves an equally compelling antagonist. In closing, I say in my true mother tongue: Tibi Gratis Pro Usus versus Morituri Te Salutante, gratis ad memorium… Ciao!

~~~

Realistically, we do not choose if we are the hero or the villain, instead we should simply be, and that label will be given to us. If one fights so hard to change their role, it doesn’t guarantee anything except self-suffering. Embrace your true nature, and see how productive you can be with it. Even better, do not blame outside forces alone, but also recognise the autonomy we have in choosing what we are viewed as. Individual evil is not like individual good, which becomes a more powerful collective. Rather, it is more important to practice kindness and rationale from person to person, yet to perpetuate a greater evil overall inadvertently. That has a more powerful effect than petty small mindedness. A truly capable Evil entity should seek to be Evil completely, and find the most effective ways to spread their ethos.

Villainous Affirmations

What if I were evil?

Care too much for what others think, and you will always be their prisoner.

What is a hero?

What is heroic?

Whatever suits the times…

The Villain’s Journey

You can’t defeat capitalism, it adapts, which makes it ‘immortal’. That is why it works, and that is why it is “fair”. A classical free market will adjust itself to reflect supply and demand: even if we were to remove the institutions, we would still find the practice, for bartering is simply a rudimentary form of capitalism. Of course, the reason for that is Human Nature, which has always tried to justify wanting more than enough, which seems prudent enough, until we realise that people rarely stop at just enough. That’s progress, after all, the wheels in motion that build up momentum, and reach equilibrium, and culminates into what we call “capitalism”. A villain does not need to defeat the odds against their adversary, for if one understands the ebb and flow, then they can also bide their time. Is it as inspiring as a hero’s journey? Not exactly, but it is the unproclaimed victories that comprise most of life’s accomplishments, and a true villain understands that success is success; sometimes, the villain understands that they are meant to be an obstacle that motivates the hero, who helps the villain in doing so. In the same vein, when the villain is defeated, they learn from the experience, adapt and improve, so that the same obstacles do not present the same challenge. In terms of progress, it is certainly easier to track and map the self-improvement process as a villain, with a long-standing goal, than as a hero who responds spontaneously to situations. Be the hero you need in your life, by adopting the Villain’s Journey as your own. It is also important to keep in mind that juxtaposition of a Hero and Villain; at some point in their lives, the Villain was once a hero who sacrificed too much, and the Hero was a Villain who did the same…

Although it is villainous, I built my persona from parts of myself. In that way, it possesses an inherent validity of existence, due to having been formed from something already in existence. What is causality? Is it merely correlative? That person could have been any of you, any of us- there is a point where all possibilities converge, and it’s very close to the idea of God, but what you see is only the manifestation of that point, and not necessarily the journey of a specific path to get there. Am I Solomon Li? I’m not even Human anymore: the idea that we have an inherent identity is merely the explorations of inherent nature- a personality is so fickle that it isn’t anything spectacular in the long run, merely the expressions of the evolutionary process. Instead of a personality, I choose to become a corporation, and I will adapt myself as required, without feeling dis-ingenuine.

Closing Statement

Why do I hate them?

You ask me, innocently.

And I could not answer, then.

But now, a better man, I better understand,

So I say to You:

“Were thy to treat thee,

As they didst to Me,

Thou wouldst sooner hate me too.”