Solosopher & Solosophy

Context: It is the start of Hank Scorpio Zodiac month 2024, and I was reminded of SCORPIA, the shadow group from the Alex Rider series.

I daresay that when I was a boy, and that was quite while ago now, reading the latest Alex Rider series was something that always made my afternoon/evening. For those who don’t know, the titular main character is a young teenage [unwitting] spy who is usually coerced by MI6 to carry out seemingly innocuous missions that snowball into Alex saving the world many times over. Yet it always felt grounded! Truly Master storytelling at its finest, and I am also pleased to note that I was a fan of Horowitz even before his flagship series began… Anyhow, while my fanfic days are long since over, unlike my peer Master Tyler, I wanted to pay homage to a beloved series that has not yet done so well in the live action adaptation department.

This story is insertable at any point after ‘Snake Head’, as my self-insert OC will reveal, and as it does not actually impact the canon narrative, I daresay it can exist in a virtual vacuum of continuity.

Alex Rider was a curious kid, and while curiosity killed the cat, Alex had the devil’s luck and had so far managed to avoid near certain death. It amused Vincent Wu to think about the quasi oxymoron of a “near certain” anything, for it either was, or it wasn’t, and that was much of how he viewed life. Even after he had dabbled in legitimate intelligence work for his country, and the British Commonwealth in general (his nationality was Singaporean), Vincent knew that his calling was not there. Instead, he decided to take a sabbatical from being an intelligence officer, discovered a dark fascination with the seedier underbelly of society, and eventually rose up to become part of the major Snake Heads operating worldwide. Not bad for someone who had only joined [then] about a year ago! Of course, it all made sense, when he was promoted to a Snake Head “captain” and was granted an audience with the Head himself: Major Winston Yu. He still recalled that meeting fondly, when he had stepped foot in his leader’s mansion off the coast of Northern Australia, and reminisced over that conversation…

“Your RP is not bad, for someone who never studied in England, Vincent.”

Vincent smiled, polite and fully mindful of the etiquette required not only of an employee to his boss, but also of a junior to his elder. Being in his late 20’s, and with Yu approaching 50, this could easily have been a father and son meeting for a casual weekend reunion, but despite how at ease Yu appeared, there was something else on his mind. Vincent could not know that his boss was considering the problems faced by his other organisation, SCORPIA, but in an effort to ingratiate himself he made a move to refill his senior’s teacup, but immediately froze when Yu waved him aside, and a maid quickly rushed forward to take over. With a shrewd smile, he looked at Vincent, whose expression was blank but prepared for a reprimand,

“Thank you, Vincent, but I am particular about my tea, and Penelope here knows how I like my ratios. Oh that topic, do you know how best to prepare an earl grey?” As he was about to answer, Vincent paused briskly to nod his thanks to the maid, evidently named Penelope, before answering deferentially,

“Well, Major Yu, I am more acquainted with traditional Chinese brews, but I do believe an Earl Grey ought to contain some freshly squeezed drops of lemon to truly bring out the flavour?” Yu gave a short laugh, and nodded approvingly, before continue to sip his freshly poured tea. He elaborated by telling Vincent,

“Yes, I learned that when I went to Harrow, a famous school in England, in case you weren’t familiar, and I used to enjoy doing it myself. Unfortunately, under the medical circumstances, it’s getting harder and harder…”

With a look of concern, Vincent asked if Major Yu was currently recovering from something serious, and the older gentleman revealed his osteoporosis, and how he recently, very mildly, fractured his hand by absent-mindedly squeezing a particularly tough lemon. He went in to explain that since then, he had fresh lemons juiced and chilled to avoid any further such incidences. The two continued to chat, but the previous ambient tension in the air was mitigated somewhat, and continued to grow more relaxed as the two men spoke about their mutual admiration of British culture, and their shared history working for government intelligence, before their mirrored decision to join the Snake Head. Vincent was fascinated by Winston’s rags to riches tale, and impressed with how far the man had come. After an hour had passed, Winston apologised to Vincent as an old friend would, and asked him to continue his good work with the organisation, before excusing himself to prepare for another meeting. Vincent had no idea, back then, that it would be the first, and last, time he would meet with Major Winston Yu.

After Major Yu’s death, Vincent Yu was arguably the leader of his predecessor’s Snake Head, but that was something of a misnomer: with Yu’s death, the organisation had splintered and was now about a half dozen operations that technically still worked like the old one, but with distinct territories under various leaders mostly comprised from the original organisation. It was still a lucrative business, but a shadow of what it had been under Yu. However, being a Leader did come with perks, as Vincent now had access to a lot more freedom, power, and information than he previously held. With his natural investigative instincts, Vincent uncovered the shocking secret behind Yu’s demise, namely involving one Alex Rider, a British teen who had apparently outwitted the fabled SCORPIA time and time again.

With a burning obsession, one that had never possessed him before, Vincent diverted a considerable amount of time and resources into finding out everything he could about Alex Rider, even going so far as to press his old government connections for any scrap of data they could provide. Then he made his move, while Alex was on his way home from a Saturday football game.

Alex was no stranger to being stalked, but he had been distracted by something Sabine had sent him on his phone, and didn’t realise until too late that someone had approached him.

“Alex Rider? I’ve been hoping for the pleasure of our meeting for quite some time. My name is Vincent Wu. Perhaps you recall my mentor, Major Winston Yu?” Despite the neutral, refined tones of the man in front of him, Alex stiffened immediately when he heard the name ‘Major Winston Yu’, mentioned. Smiling, the Asian gentleman attempted to reassure him,

“I mean you no harm, despite the fact that I do have a gun on me. I was hoping you would indulge me for a while, and come with me to discuss some matters. If you are willing, I assure you that you’ll be back home before it gets too dark. But first, please hand me your phone, temporarily- I won’tgo theough it, I just don’t want amy distractions flr the time being.”

Alex knew that however docile the stranger appeared, the mention of a concealed weapon was enough to show that he would not take no for an answer. He looked around, scanning his surroundings, but the other man had selected this area because it was normally deserted on weekends, and Alex had been too accustomed to using it to notice anything unusual today. He sized up his would be abductor, and noted that while not particularly big, his stance was solid, and thus Vincent probably knew martial arts well enough to handle himself. But as the panic began to subside, Alex also noted that he didn’t appear to have anyone around him. Not that it meant anything, as the surrounding bushland could easily contain a few reinforcements if he tried anything. But still, Alex had a glimmer of hope, and he would try to buy himself some time.

“Look, Mr Wu? You know that stranger danger is something all kids are taught these days. Besides, if you know who I am, which you seem to, then you know who I’ve worked for. You haven’t actually threatened me, and you seem like a nice enough guy- how about we just pretend that this never happened, and go our separate ways?”

It was a desperate bluff, of course, and he didn’t expect this Vincent Wu to fall for it, but to his surprise the other man simply laughed, and not in a mocking manner either. With a seemingly genuine smile, he told Alex,

“You are everything they said, fearless, resourceful, and more! I’m truly delighted to finally meet you today, Mr Rider. Allow me to reiterate once again: I would very much like a chance to have a conversation with you, and afterwards, I assure you that I will go my way and we will likely never see each other again. MI6 don’t have to be involved, and I have already confirmed that the agent who surveils your house won’t be suspicious for another hour or two. We’ve also giben your housekeeper, Jack, an errand that will take her mind off things long enough for us to conduct our business. I’ve gone to an awful lot of trouble to meet with you, Mr Rider- Alex- and if you would indulge me over a meal and some questions I have, I’ll leave you to your business, no tricks. Does that sound fair to you?”

Without much of a choice, Alex could only agree for the time being, handed over his phone (which was placed in a silver bag no doubt designed to block signals) and followed Vincent’s direction. He expected to be whisked away to some fancy private hotel and given the whole spiel while sampling a gourmet menu. He had done this before many times.

To his surprise, Vincent didn’t take him anywhere like that- instead, they had only walked a short distance away into the park, and entered a large van that was big enough for the two to stand in. Inside, a table had been set up for the two, and Alex could make out the silhouette of a driver in the front seat. Gesturing him to have a seat, Vincent asked, with that unchanging plastic smile he had worn since they first met,

“So, Alex, what kind of McDonald’s items are you fond of? This is my first time trying the English versions, and I’d love to get you anything you like.”

Taken aback, Alex, who had been wary this entire time, could not help but wonder if this was simply some kind of MI6 prank? If so, for what purpose? If not, then he was definitely experiencing a new class of criminal to the ones he had been exposed to previously. Hesitantly, as Vincent looked at him expectedly, Alex decided to just go with his gut instinct to see how this would play out, and told his that he wanted the Quarter Pounder burger and chips, with a coke. Nodding, Vincent tapped on the wall where the front seats were located, and the van took off. Alex noticed that he couldn’t hear any outside traffic, and concluded that the van was specifically insulated against sound: banging on the walls wouldn’t help alert anyone outside. Not that it would help, as the man would probably shoot him before help could arrive. Yet, unlike previous times, Alex couldn’t sense any hostility coming from the other man at all, which might not be impossible for a trained assassin, but if the man was indeed sent to kill him, why bother with all this? What sort of bizarre code of conduct was he playing at? And McDonald’s wasn’t what he expected either- every psycho who had tried to torture him so far had always enjoyed flaunting the wealth that came with the darker trades, but this was the first time he was being treated to something so mundane.

Vincent didn’t say much as they sat, and stared at each other in silence, though Alex was starting to become unnerved as Vincent’s smile never left his face. Deciding to rock the boat somewhat, Alex ask, pointedly,

“Do you always look like that? Smiling, I mean?” Amused, Vincent, replied in a good natured tone,

“It is a little odd, isn’t it? I can stop, anytime I like, but over the years I guess you could say it’s my default look. Do you find it unpleasant?”

“I find this whole situation unpleasant, so your smile isn’t the worst of it. But are we going to talk, or are we going to wait for the food?” Raising his brows, Vincent replied,

“Why not both?” As if on cue, a boxed compartment opened from the driver side wall, and several brown bags with distinct savoury smells wafted throughout the vehicle. As Vincent was seated by the driver side wall, his eyes never left Alex, even when distributing the food items. Deciding that there was no need to stand on ceremony, Alex began muching on the food and sipping from his beverage, while Vincent delicately picked at chips. As they ate, Vincent told Alex about himself, and that he was a captain of Winston Yu, whom he considered a mentor, and was now the defacto leader of one of the smaller Snake Heads that arose from the collapse of Yu’s criminal empire. He also asked Alex about SCORPIA; it wasn’t quite like Alex had to give a speech, as Vincent seemed to know most of the major information, but was mainly clarifying certain details that were more difficult to uncover. It didn’t take that long, either, before Vincent seemed satisfied, but then, in a rare display of passion, and somewhat more human emotion, Vincent asked Alex what transpired when the boy dined with the Major at the latter’s Australian residence. Seeing no reason to hold back, Alex told him everything about Yu’s backstory, and for a while, Vincent seemed perturbed. However, he soon snapped out of it, and knock loudly on the wall behind him, which caused the vehicle to changed directs instead of merely circling around the area. Before too long, the van stopped, and Vincent extended a hand out to Alex, who warily shook it. The older man spoke,

“Thank you very much for your time, Alex. I appreciate our meeting very much, but as promised, it is time to return you home. Here, as promised,  your phone. The door is unlocked, by the way.”

Sliding open the door, Alex took a moment to recognise that he was being let out on the street adjacent to his own house, and quickly made his way out. Not sure if he could go quite yet, Alex looked at Vincent, who kindly nodded, and fighting every urge to dash, Alex calmly walked away as the van sped off, though not in a manner that would grab too much attention. Glancing back, Alex memorised the plates, before making a call to MI6.

There was quite a bit of stir as Jack, Mrs Jones, and a few agents that Alex didn’t recognise fussed over him, and checked everything about him from his phone, to his vitals (they weren’t sure if his food had been contaminated), and sweeps were being conducted throughout his home. Jack stayed by his side the entire time, revealing how worried she had been when she couldn’t  reach him on his phone, and Alex went over what happened again as Mrs Jones wanted to clarify everything.

“He met me in the park, where he knew I would be passing through. Said his name was Vincent Wu, used to work for Winston Yu. Now he is the new snake head leader, or one of them- apparently the organisation splintered after what happened. He said he only wanted to talk, we went into his van, and ate McDonalds. I was asked a lot of questions about SCORPIA and Major Yu, but he seemed like he already knew most of the details. Then he dropped me off on the other side of the street, and I gave you the plates already. That’s it. I feel fine, he never laid a hand on me either.” Mrs Jones ran every background check, but the plates didn’t register with anyone, the van was non descript, and the tox screen on Alex had come back negative for any kind of poison agents, though that was no guarantee as SCORPIA had access to rare poisons, and if this Vincent Wu were indeed connected to them he could have access to such substances. Eventually, however, the panic cleared, Mrs Jones promised to increase security around their perimeter, as well as assigning a team to tail Alex at all times- the agent they did assign had been discovered after Alex was returned home, unconscious from a powerful sedative, but otherwise unharmed. The whole affair puzzled the MI6 team. A short letter was received a few days later, addressing the team,

Dear MI6,

My name is Vincent Wu. Perhaps young Alex Rider has told you of how we chatted over burgers. I simply wanted to reiterate that he was in no danger, and extend my apologies for any inconveniences, but it was imperative to meet the boy, nay, the young man, who thwarted the work of my predecessor, Major Winston Yu. I wanted to meet him, as I have been reconsidering how to improve upon my mentor’s legacy. It is my desire to re-establish control over the snakehead in my part of the world, and while our work typically puts us at odds, I am wondering if we could come to a mutually beneficial agreement…

As Alan Blunt read the note, which continued its tone of partnership, he wondered whether or not Alex Rider was having a greater effect on global security than he could have ever possibly imagined. While originally not noteworthy, this Vincent Wu had been able to get close enough to kill the boy several times over, and as Alan skimmed over more of the letter, he stopped at a certain point to carefully consider what Wu was suggesting: that Alex would be protected by both sides of the law, at least where they could manage it, and in return, his own operations would be given a blind eye treatment. There was even the possibility that Wu’s snakehead would occasionally assist law enforcement! Feeling like he owed Alex, Alan nonetheless couldn’t stop trying to decipher was game Wu was playing… but it was interesting, and for Alan Blunt, that was something he hadn’t experienced since Alex “joined” their team. Alan had taken a chance then, and he was wondering if he should take another one, and whether or not this one would pay off as well…

The end. Le Fin. SLUT.

More to come? Probably not, I think that anything I produce will pale in comparison to Horowitz, regarding his own series anyway. But I am glad to have paid homage to the series in my own way. 😉