I understand why people may think of me as suspicious- I’m just nice! That’s tantamount to saying that everyone else is an asshole.
Did I spell that correctly? I’ve been seeing the censored version for so long that I forget…
I admit that despite my mild mannered personality, I am well trained in hand to hand combat and don’t have any qualms about taking life when necessary. But that’s only due to being an Asian, which means I automatically know kung fu, and as a philosopher I have often rationalised Human Nature to the point where murder is okay depending on the circumstances. Plus, I’ve always been very open about my super villainous status. As for immunity to toxins, well, I like to experiment in my free time.
So what I’m conveying is that anything that seems unusual about me has very reasonable and logical origins.
I simply can’t be anything more than a mild-mannered billionaire playboy reporter!
But despite how ridiculous it sounds, let’s play Devil’s Advocado 🥑
- Do I have secrets that must remain hidden for the Greater Good? Yes, of course, who doesn’t?
- Have I lived an unusual and almost impossibly unique life? Everyone else is just too afraid to resist being NPCs. Plus, I’m an Aquarius- Duh!
- Do I have a closet full of designated outfits, costumes and cosmetic accessories? Fashion, you uncultured plebeians.
- Have I got a Ready-to-Go bag with survival essentials? I watch, and am influenced, by a lot of zombie apocalypse flicks.
- Is there cash, fake IDs, and precious metals as part of that kit? Don’t be silly, I store those in another covert compartment.
- What do you mean, “What do I do for work again?” HAH- P.L.E.A.S.E… 😎 (Barney Stintson was my Role Model)
- I once again stress that I am not celibate, nor adverse to relationships: I simply have high standards. [2D>3D]
So for the last time, I may be odd, unusual, pretentious, sus… but I am NOT a porn star!




