“Just woke up in the middle of the night,
I’ve been sleep deprived since yesterday,
Had a dream of the past, when I was teenager,
Trying to make my own way…”
I’m better rested now, but as my prose above indicates, I’ve been up more than I should have in in the last day or so, and I had a turbulent dream about the past: I am back at my childhood home, trying to make life better in whatever small way I could, but my overvearing father was spouting such inadequate and basic advice about how to move the vehicles (we had multiple). My mother was in the background not doing much in ways of management, and my youngest sister, who may or may not represent my siblings, was talking back to my scolding father, saying that they wanted to just stay in their room, and avoid something he had instructed. I remember the feeling of scrounging for whatever scraps I could find, and taking comfort in that, in this case it was the bottom of a box of Jatz crackers, and I defended my sibling by telling them to stay in their room until they felt better, an indirect defiance of my father’s authority. End dream sequence as I awoke.
Perhaps it was just the neurochemicals of my recent idiosyncratic martial arts training, combined with a recent diet, sleep deprivation, and the recent stimuli of having my colleagues return to the establishment. Or maybe it’s something reflective of my subconscious stance on my own upbringing, and how helpless I was, maybe even still am? That’s only on an emotional level, of course, and even then, upon some scrutiny, I am now more powerful on paper despite perhaps not having full access to my typical powers.
What is power, if it can not effect the changes I desire?
What good am I, if I am just a stringless kite drifting in the wind?
I’d better get a few more good couple of hours of sleep, but having just awoken I want to eat/drink something. Maybe an apple?
Solosopher & Solosophy 